


Am I Too Late?

by SnarkySensei



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Drama, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 34,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28062237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnarkySensei/pseuds/SnarkySensei
Summary: Luka has long given up on happiness. She spends most of her time in bed, locked away from the world, longing for a life not meant for her. Until one day, where a chance encounter might just prove her wrong. (Based on 'Interviewer' by Kuwagata-P)
Relationships: Hatsune Miku/Megurine Luka
Comments: 16
Kudos: 31





	1. A Life Alone

The sun's morning rays flittered through partially drawn curtains, the intrusive speckles of light dancing across the sparsely decorated room. A lone girl lay dozing atop her bedsheets, still dressed in her casual clothes, her white hoodie drawn up over her head keeping her long pink hair in check. The curtains ruffle gently, as a cool breeze tickles the bare skin of the dozing girl causing her eyes to slowly flutter open, revealing dazzling cerulean orbs.

Luka clumsily fumbled her hand across the bed, her fingers blindly searching for an elusive object lost in the sheets. The feeling of cool glass let her know her search was a success as she picked up her smartphone and stared at the home screen. The display read 11:27 AM.

“Guess I’m not going to school today.” She sighed heavily, her lips drawn down into a somber frown. Flopping over onto her back, lifting the hand holding her phone above her head. Swiping her finger across the screen to unlock her phone, Luka immediately glanced at her messaging app. 

No new notifications. 

The pinkette stared blankly at the main screen for several seconds, the phone’s default wallpaper staring mockingly back at her, before letting the phone drop back onto the bed. Luka stared listlessly at the ceiling, her blue eyes unfocused and empty, the sounds of singing birds and neighborhood chatter drowned out by the hollow white noise droning in her mind. 

How many days in a row has it been now? Three? Four? Her mother had long given up trying to get her to go to school, many times failing to even convince her to leave her room. For months she’d plead, beg, even demand she go to school, but Luka could just not bring herself go. At most, she would get halfway there and then just sit somewhere nearby until her mother came looking for her after the school reported her absence. 

Even days where she did she did manage to make it to school she would just stare into nothingness until it was time to leave. Nowadays her mom just let her be, the last of her patience and persistence having finally run out. In some ways, Luka was both relieved and disappointed by that.

Luka involuntarily gripped onto the bedsheets as her mind was overcome with intrusive thoughts. There was nothing for her at school. Nothing for her in the outside world. No friends to hang out with or talk to. To enjoy the newest drinks at a trendy cafe with, as they talked about the newest bands. No one to share laughs and tears with. No one to love her.

Another cool breeze swirled over her body, tickling her exposed legs that were barely covered by a short pair of black tights, causing her to curl up in a protective ball to help stave off the offending wind and hopefully get some more sleep. 

Despite her best efforts to remain in bed her stomach decided to join the fray and let out a series of low, persistent grumbles. Heaving a frustrated sigh, Luka reluctantly lifted herself up into a seated position, her feet dangling off the edge of her bed. Luka didn’t really want to eat, but even she knew three days in a row was not a good thing. She pensively stared at the floor, tracing the patterns of scratches and scuff marks on it’s weathered surface, before slowly getting to her feet. The pink-haired teen made sure to grab her phone as she did, slipping it into the pocket of her hoodie.

Luka stared at her bedroom door with great apprehension. Through that door existed the real world. A world of pain and disappointment. A world with no protection. No isolation. No comfort. Pulling her hood further over her head, Luka reluctantly opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.

Her bare feet pattered noisily on the hardwood floor as she made her way down the second-floor hallway and down the steps, the chill from her room noticeably absent in the rest of the house. Her blue eyes flickered over the family photo’s on display on the wall, her dreary face reflecting on their glass surface. Happy memories lay buried underneath a layer of dust. 

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Luka nervously peered into the kitchen to find her mom in the midst of cleaning up, surely having already eaten her breakfast if the dirty plate in her hand was any indication.

Lately, her mother had stopped preparing meals for her, not that Luka could really blame her for that. It’s hard to prepare a meal every day, not knowing whether the person you made it for will even be there. To get your hopes up every day just to throw the wasted food into the trash. Inhaling a ragged breath, the pinkette shuffled timidly into the kitchen.

“You’re finally up.” Luka’s mother said somewhat bruskly, as she lifted her head from her task of cleaning the dishes to acknowledge the entrance of her daughter. The younger girl nodded shyly, gripping the elbow of her left arm tightly, pressing her right arm protectively into her stomach.

“Y-yes..” Her mother frowned darkly at her daughter's timid stance and apprehensive response. She couldn’t understand what happened to the daughter she once knew. This girl before her bore no resemblance to the excitable young girl, who would chat non-stop about anything and everything. The girl before her was a complete stranger, one that found talking to her own mother to be laborious. Sighing heavily, she turned off the sink and started drying her hands, turning fully to face her daughter.

Luka stood nervously in the doorway, keeping her head lowered to avoid her mother's stern gaze, trying to make herself seem as small as possible. The pinkette always feels like she is a disappointment to her mother and tries to limit her interactions with her for that very reason. 

It was bad enough for the family when her father left, but also having to deal with a troubled child on top of it all made Luka feel extreme amounts of guilty. She wishes every day she could somehow fix everything. If only she could get better. If only she could talk to her. If only she were gone.

“Well since you are free today could you go to the store and grab some stuff for dinner?” Luka flinched at her mother's words, the disappointment in her voice clearly evident. Blinking rapidly to hold back her tears she gave an almost imperceptible nod. She really didn’t want to go outside but she was too afraid to upset her mother even more.

Grabbing a note from the fridge, her mother walked up to her and held it in front of her, waiting for her to take it. Reaching out with trembling hands, she took the offered note and tucked it hastily into her sweater pocket.

“There’s some money in my purse. Make sure to keep the receipt.” Luka nodded before swiftly turning and practically running to the front door. Her mother looked to the entryway of the kitchen where her daughter had stood moments ago, hearing the rushed slamming of the front door, her face marred with a look of deep sorrow. 

\------

The midday sun beat down roughly on the teen girls back, the late spring weather doing a number on the young shut-in. Running a hand over her sweat covered brow the pinkette pulled her hood further over her head, hoping to shut out the world as much as possible. She had trouble enough being out in public let alone in her loungewear and sweating. She silently cursed the convenience store for being located uphill.

Adjusting her ear-buds, Luka pressed shuffle on her phone before sticking it back into her sweater pocket. The opening notes of a poppy love song flowed into her ears, drowning out the white noise in her mind and replacing them with flowery lyrics of happiness and joy. Things she desperately wanted for herself.

Luka sucked in a deep breath of humid air, the trudge uphill and the stifling heat wearing her out immensely. Due to her shut-in lifestyle, spending most of her time in bed and rarely eating, had left Luka severely out of shape. Each laborious step she took drained a little more of her already limited stamina. 

The sudden cresting of the hill and the appearance of the gaudy advertising board of the local convenience store would signal her salvation from this hellish trek. Despite the torturous ordeal she just went through, Luka’s gait sped up as she awaited the sweet salvation of escaping the dreaded outdoors.

A friendly ding greeted Luka as she stepped over the threshold of the automatic doors and into the florescent-lit building, the refreshing blast of the stores AC chilling her sweat covered body instantly. Deep heaving breaths poured out of her parted lips as she regained her stamina. Pulling down her hood, pink hair frizzing from the static, Luka glanced about the store nervously. The exhausted girl grabbed a nearby shopping basket and quickly ducked into the closest aisle.

Despite the harrowing hike she had to contend with to get there she still wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. Yes, she hated being outside, in the heat and open, but she hated being inside of a public building even more. Even though the store was sparsely populated, most people being at school or work during this time of day, the socially awkward girl still felt horribly exposed. 

Luka hurriedly moved from aisle to aisle, grabbing all of the items her mom had put on the list. It was mostly odds and ends of essentials they were running low on, but from the curry packets on the list, Luka was quite sure of what they were having for dinner tonight. While her mother was a good cook, making curry from scratch was just something she could not figure out, despite it being a fairly simple recipe. 

Before their father left, and her mental health started deteriorating, Luka was the primary cook in the family. She loved preparing her and her father's meals for the day, all while cooking breakfast for the family. Seeing her parents enjoy her meals, sitting together at the dinner table, sharing stories and laughs. It was something Luka missed every day. Nowadays it was hard to even eat anything at all.

Shaking her head at her pointless reminiscing, Luka dropped the curry packets into her basket and moved on to the next item. Dwelling on the past was not going to bring it back after all. After grabbing the rest of the items, the pink-haired teen made her way to the cash. Unfortunately for her, there was no line. Gulping nervously, Luka approached the smiling cashier.

“Hello! Did you find everything you were looking for?” The cashier, Shiozaki according to her name-tag, asked cheerfully as she carefully rung up the pink-haired girl's items. All Luka could do was nod dumbly in response. The pinkette was not well versed in social situations, usually with longer lines she would have time to rehearse possible answers before it was her turn. But it being the middle of the day, on a weekday no less, meant there was virtually no one in the store to act as a buffer.

Shiozaki continued to ring up her items, taking it all in stride, her smile never wavering as she bagged up her purchases. In a way Luka envied her. She was very pretty, with her long green hair and classically beautiful face, but most of all she envied her positivity. Being able to talk to strangers so casually, not to mention cheerily, was something the socially awkward girl sorely desired. A sharp ding from the cash register tore Luka out of her reverie, as her eyes snapped back into focus.

“That’ll be 2145 yen, please.” Fumbling in her sweater pockets for the money she borrowed from her mother, Luka’s heart dropped when she heard the small metallic clinks and clangs of coins falling onto the floor. In her panic to hastily pick up the dropped coins, her hand got snagged on the contents of her pockets, causing them all to spill out as well.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.” Rapid-fire apologies spilled from Luka’s lips, as she kneeled down to pick up the fallen items. Tears of embarrassment started forming in the corner of her eyes, her cheeks burning uncomfortably hot. The pink-haired girl haphazardly pocketed her belongings, just wanting to get the transaction over and done with, so she could go back home and lock herself into her room as soon as possible.

“It’s ok, don’t worry.” Shiozaki spoke calmly as Luka rose back to her feet, the pinkette afraid to make eye contact. She could hear the underlying tone of sympathy in the cashier's voice. It wasn’t as degrading as pity, but it hurt nonetheless. To be considered someone you feel bad for, that something is wrong with them.

Dropping two 2000 yen bills into the collection plate, Luka hastily pulled her hood back over her head, just wishing she or the world would disappear. She was too scared to try and search for her headphones, worried she’d end up dropping everything on the floor again like the idiot she was.

“Here you go, 1855 yen is your change.” Mumbling a subdued ‘thank you’, Luka grabbed her change and quickly picked up her plastic bag of groceries. Shiozaki bowed slightly at the waist, her green hair falling over her shoulders. “Please come again and have a nice day.”

The embarrassed girl hastily made a beeline for the exit, the tears previously pooling in the corner of her eyes now running freely down her cheeks. Her head was hung low, stray wisps of pink hair falling from out from her hoodie, trying desperately to block out the thoughts in her head. The automatic doors swished open and as soon as Luka stepped across the barrier she collided with a solid object causing her to stumble back in surprise.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” A lilting voice permeated its way into her foggy mind. Luka's brain was screaming at her to keep moving, to get away from the pain and humiliation, but something in that person's pleasant high pitched voice made her stop. Blue eyes peeked out from behind her bangs, her face still covered by her hood. Pale cheeks flushed crimson as she laid eyes on the angelic being that she had run into.

"Are you ok?" Before her stood the prettiest girl she had ever seen, the afternoon sun reflecting off of her body in an ethereal glow. The first thing Luka noticed was the long twin ponytails sticking out from her head, flowing down her body in waves of enchanting teal, the ends of them almost touching the pavement. To be able to maintain such luxurious hair must take much time and effort, but it clearly paid off as it looked to be as soft as silk.

The girl seemed to be only a couple inches shorter than her, the very top of her head being level with her nose. She was dressed in an aquamarine-colored sleeveless crop top which put her trim stomach fully on display. A white pleated skirt ruffled in the summer breeze, a pair of white knee-high socks and cute black shoes completing the outfit.

Luka’s mind kept repeating the word ‘Adorable!’ over and over again the longer she stared at this heavenly creature. Noticing she hadn’t responded to her question, Luka quickly nodded her head, tightening her hoodie overhead to try and hide her growing blush. She didn’t want to show her tear-streaked face to this beautiful girl.

“Ah, I’m glad.” The mystery girl graced her with a dazzling smile, her eyes closed in an expression of pure joy. Luka could feel her heartbeat violently in her chest, a strange flutter settling in her stomach. This girl was causing her body and mind to go haywire.

“Oh that’s right I haven’t introduced myself.” The tealette bounced excitedly in place, her hands clasped excitedly in front of her chest. Striking a playful pose, one eye winking flirtatiously, as her index finger pointed dramatically to the side of her head.

“My name is Hatsune. Hatsune Miku.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is based on one of my favorite Vocaloid songs “Interviewer” by Kuwagata-P. Luka’s design in the art is extremely adorable in my opinion and I relate deeply to the lyrics. As soon as I heard the song and learned the lyrics I wanted to give Luka the happy ending she deserves. So I decided to write it : D


	2. The Walk Home

Luka’s mind had completely shut off the second that she had laid eyes on the petite girl, who was currently doing her best to blind her with her million-watt smile. Her brain was refusing to form any coherent thoughts, causing her to be stuck staring dumbly at the teal haired girl with her bloodshot eyes. Wiping the remaining stray tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, Luka remembered that she had rudely bumped into the other girl and quickly bowed to her in apology.

“I-I’m so, so s-sorry.” Head held low, her hood completely covering her blushing face, Luka waited with bated breath for the girl's response, cursing her prevalent nervous stutter. Today has been nothing but one terrible interaction after another, further proving that she should just stay in her room from now on. A chime-like giggle floated to her ears, the pink-haired girl lifting her head slightly to witness the shorter girl gently wave off her apology.

“Hey, hey it’s fine, really. I was running too fast and didn’t notice you. It’s my fault, too.” Despite her kind words, Luka did not rise from her bow, believing she shouldn’t be so easily forgiven. It was her mistake after all and she needed to properly make amends. The pinkette’s shoulders started to shake as she felt a new wave of shame and embarrassment pour itself back into her brain.

It was always the same for her, disappointing or inconveniencing someone just by them being in her very presence. Luka tried, she really did, to never cause any problems for other people. She would try to map out every possible scenario ahead of time to help mitigate any inconveniences she might create for other people. From rehearsed interactions with cashiers to times when she knew her mother was asleep to start sobbing into her pillow. Luka made sure the only one who would need to deal with her was herself. But all Luka wanted to do, for once, was be normal. 

Feeling fresh tears flow down her cheeks, body jolting with barely restrained sobs, Luka was surprised by a sudden comforting hand on her shoulder. Another hand gently lifted her chin, causing her to lay eyes upon the teal haired girl, who softly began dabbing her eyes with a simple monogrammed handkerchief. 

“Hey, c’mon now, it’s ok.” The girl's inflection had completely changed, the once boisterous and excitable voice replaced by a gentle, soothing whisper. With the gentlest of touches, Miku dried the tears from Luka’s cheeks, the taller girl blushing madly at the intimate gesture from this beautiful girl. The heat from her cheeks only intensified as she registered the thought she just had about the teal haired girl, nervously pulling on the sides of her hood to try and cover up her more of her face.

“Everything's ok. We’re ok.” Drying the last of the tears, Miku took a couple steps back to give the shy girl some much-needed space, which Luka was extremely grateful for. Standing too close to this caring and beautiful girl would surely lead to her passing out from overheating. A stray thought crossed the pink-haired girl's mind as she stared at the brightly smiling girl.

“L-Luka.” Tilting her head at the pinkette’s sudden exclamation, leaning forward to get a look at the girl's face from under the hood, Luka instinctively turning her head to the side to avoid Miku’s gaze. “My name is Megurine Luka.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Luka-chan!” Luka’s blush only intensified at the shorter girls' use of her first name, let alone the cute honorific attached to it, her heart beating a mile a minute. Why was this girl causing her so much emotional turmoil? Why was her heart reacting this way? It felt like she was dealing with a schoolgirl crush.

‘Uh oh…’ Luka’s aquamarine eyes widened dramatically as she nearly tore her hood in half at how tightly she was pulling at it. ‘This is not good.’

“Hey.” Lifting her head slightly at Miku’s sudden exclamation, Luka noticed that the tealette was not standing before her anymore. Whipping her head around in a panic, she noticed the peppy girl standing by store's automatic doors, her finger pointing into the fluorescent-lit building. “Do you mind waiting for me? I’ll only be a second.”

All Luka could do was nod dumbly in response, Miku clapping her hands together with a slight bow in thanks before bounding into the store, nimbly grabbing one of the grocery baskets and twirling into the nearest aisle as If the basket was her new dance partner.

Meanwhile, Luka tried to use the time to gather her thoughts, the meeting with the exuberant girl having frazzled her mind into an incoherent mess. Placing her hands on her cheeks, Luka felt as if the heat from her blush could burn her palms. Grabbing a handful of pink hair, the socially awkward girl started nervously wringing the strands in her hand, as she looked around the neighborhood in a panic.

‘What am I going to do?!’ Fear coursed through the shy teen’s body, Luka’s head whipping back and forth in distress as she searched the street for any other pedestrians. It would have humiliated the pink-haired girl to no ends if her earlier social faux pas had been witnessed by another human being. This is why she hated going outside, her pathetic life being on display for all to see, to judge, to condemn.

Wrapping her arms around her stomach, shrinking into herself, Luka tried to figure out what to do. Miku had asked her to wait, which Luka had foolishly agreed to, and she didn’t want to disappoint the teal haired girl who had been so sweet to her. Everything about the peppy girl just drew her in. From her mile-wide grin that set Luka’s heart aflutter, to her beautiful blue eyes, those gorgeous orb shining with life and excitement. All Luka wanted to do was learn everything she could about her, to remain in her presence for as long as she would let her.

And yet, with all these wonderful feeling fluttering in her chest, all Luka wanted to do was run and hide. To deliver the groceries to her mother and then not leave her room for days, to hide under her blankets until the offending thoughts faded away and the dull hum of static returned to her mind. It was a life she hated with a passion, but it was a familiar and safe one. It did not bring her joy, but it would not hurt her either.

“Hey! Thanks for waiting!” In the end, her decision was made for her, as the happy go lucky girl emerged from the depths of the convenience store, a plastic bag dangling from her dainty hand. Skipping over to her side, twin tails bobbing merrily behind her, Miku began rummaging in one of the plastic bags, her tongue sticking out cutely from the corner of her mouth in concentration. Miku pulled out a bottle of water and held it out to the taller girl, a happy smile on her lips.

"Here you go!" Luka just stared at the offered bottle, small beads of condensation glistening on its plastic surface, in confusion. Snickering lightly, Miku shoved the bottle into Luka's arms, the pinkette fumbling with it for a second as she tried not to drop it.

"You looked exhausted so I thought you could use some water." Luka's blue eyes widened significantly at Miku's innocent words, the tealette unaware how much her kind gesture affected the socially awkward girl. Squeezing the bottle tightly to her chest, the plastic crinkling under her firm grip, Luka clenched her eyes shut firmly to try and stave off the oncoming tears. They were tears of joy this time, but Luka did not want to embarrass herself in front of the friendly girl any more today. She was afraid she'd look like a child, crying over the fact that someone showed her the slightest bit of kindness.

"Thank you." Bowing slightly, Luka gave her thanks to the teal haired girl, Miku waving off the gesture with a bashful smile. Twisting off the cap, the familiar crack of the plastic separating echoing between the silent pair as Luka took a long swig of the cool liquid, savoring its refreshing taste. Lowering the bottle from her lips, the pink-haired girl broke out into a blush as Miku had been staring at her the whole time.

"May I join you on your walk home, Luka-chan? I find it's always more fun to travel with a friend." Miku's harmless question caused the pinkette to sputter in shock, unable to understand why this adorable girl would want to spend more time with her let alone refer to her as a friend. Had she not gotten sick of her yet? All she's done since meeting her is stutter and blush like an idiot, having barely spoken three full sentences to her. She had even cried in front of her, like a schoolchild who got embarrassed in front of the class! And yet...

"Uh..um..sure." Meekly Luka agreed to Miku's request, her blush only inflaming more and more. The shut-in knew she was going to somehow screw this up and Miku will realize how much of a screw up the pinkette was, leaving Luka to return home feeling as empty as when she had left it. But, somewhere in her heart, Luka had hope that maybe this time she could form something important. To make a friend. To not be alone.

"Yay!" Jumping into the air in excitement, arms raised up in triumph, Miku exclaimed her happiness with a cheerful yell which startled the socially awkward girl. Grabbing ahold of Luka's hand, Miku began dragging the pink-haired girl away from the store, her small build belying her surprising strength as she pulled the taller girl behind her without any effort. Luka stumbled clumsily behind the energetic tealette, dropping her water bottle into the bag with her mother’s groceries, an all-encompassing blush covering her face from the feel of the girl's soft hand.

"Wait..." Luka bumped into the smaller girls back, Miku barely flinching from the sudden impact, shouting out a reflexive 'I'm sorry' before staring at Miku in confusion at her sudden stop. Looking sheepishly over her shoulder, a small sweat drop rolling down the side of her face, Miku laughed in embarrassment at Luka.

"Ummm...where do you live?" Luka stared at the shorter girl completely dumbfounded, Miku starting to sweat nervously under the pink-haired girl's intense stare, her embarrassment growing more and more as the awkward silence dragged on and on. Miku hoped she would burst into flames soon so she could avoid this humiliation, but luckily Luka came to her rescue.

Luka lifted her arm, the one carrying her groceries as the other was currently being held hostage by the teal haired ball of energy, and pointed down the hill toward the direction of her home. Switching moods almost instantly, her previous embarrassment completely forgotten, Miku quickly changed directions and began dragging a straggling Luka behind her.  
\-------  
After being dragged halfway down the seemingly endless hill, the trip down thankfully being less draining than the way up, Miku finally released Luka’s hand to march confidently several steps in ahead of her. The second her hand was separated from Miku’s, Luka instantly missed it’s gentle warmth, feeling distinctly colder despite the sun still beating down relentlessly onto her shoulders.

Pirouetting on her heel, skirt fluttering with the same joy as it’s wearer, Miku smiled up at the lagging girl behind her, Luka still doing her best to hide away underneath her hood. Pouting at the pink-haired girl's refusal to reveal herself to her, both her face and her thoughts, Miku decided to take matters into her own hand. Slowing her gait Miku began walking in step with the taller girl, smiling over at her as Luka glanced at her from the corner of her eye.

“I’ve never seen you around. What school do you go to?” Jumping in fright, not expecting the tealette’s sudden question, Luka stammered a bit until her brain had a chance to catch up with her mouth.

“I….I don’t.” Tilting her head in confusion, the energetic girl felt an inkling of worry to start building in her heart. 

Why didn’t she go to school? Luka didn’t seem much older than her, a year or so at most. Though if she thought about it it was the middle of the day on a weekday, and yet Luka looks barely dressed to be out in public let alone attending class. While Luka’s jumpy and embarrassing nature was quite endearing to the twin-tailed girl, Miku began worrying it might be a symptom of a greater problem. Deciding now was not the time to bring up emotional woes, Miku decided to try and make the girl feel more comfortable, believing happiness is the best road to comfort.

“By the way, where’d you get that hoodie? It looks suuuuper comfortable!” Looking down at her clothing, Luka stared at it as if she had seen it for the first time. Luka could scarcely remember when she got it, the memory long buried with the remnants of her past life. Of everything she owned, this hoodie was what gave Luka the most comfort so she made sure to take the utmost care of it.

“I don’t remember….sorry.” Miku frowned at Luka’s response, not understanding what there was to apologize for. Luka took Miku’s expression to mean something entirely different, the pink-haired girl chastising herself for upsetting the cheerful girl with her failure to remember a simple detail. 

“It’s ok I was just wondering. It looks great on you.” Miku smiled at the pinkette, as she playfully twirled the tip of one of her twin tails between her fingers.

“Eeh..w-what?” Luka’s face did a perfect impression of her hair as a painful blush enveloped her face from the girl's compliment. While usually, Luka would brush off any compliment or kind word directed at her as the person just being nice or at worst making fun of her, but the sincerity sparkling in Miku’s eyes and the genuine tone in her voice had shattered her defenses with a critical blow. The shut-in could feel her heart trying to tear it’s way out of her chest so that it could give the peppy girl a big hug. 

“Yeah! Your whole outfit is super cute! It makes you want to cuddle up and be cozy all day!” Miku wrapped her twin tails around her neck, fashioning a makeshift scarf out of the long strands of hair, as she chuckled merrily at the comfy vision in her head. 

Meanwhile, all Luka could do was look at her clothes in confusion, blush still raging on her face, unable to grasp what Miku could possibly be seeing. All Luka saw was a sweaty, gross mess of a girl, not even fit to be seen in the public eye. Staring at herself in disgust, Luka’s intrusive thoughts began creeping back into her mind.

Indecent black tights clung obscenely to her legs, exposing too much of her pasty white skin that had been bereft of sunlight for ages, unfashionable black sandals adorning her feet. Her pink hair was matted and unkempt, Luka having given up on managing her hair, letting it grow wild and long. While she did clean herself up every day, she wasn’t as meticulous of keeping up her appearance as a high school girl is expected to. Not that Luka had any way of confirming that, having been absent from school more than she could count.

“Luka-chan?” Luka was pulled from her dark thoughts by Miku’s question, her enchanting voice thick with worry. Twin orbs of gorgeous blue looked up into Luka’s own aquamarine ones, care and concern mixing together in their depths. It was then, that Luka noticed they had come to a stop at the bottom of the hill, her house being only a couple of blocks away.

“S-sorry.” Despite her recent negative thoughts, Luka did not want her time with the cheerful girl to come to an end. There was so much she wanted to learn about this gorgeous creature that had bumped, quite literally, into her life. Luka had failed to hold any form of a normal conversation with the girl, having left Miku to pretty much talk to a walking marionette. 

“It’s ok. You did nothing wrong.” The odd pair continued their previous trek, Miku still taking the lead as she walked backward in front of Luka with her hands folded behind her back, a sad smile on her lips. “People always say that I talk too much and that it’s annoying. Do you think so too?”

The second that question left the girl's mouth, Luka vehemently shook her head no, the action catching Miku by surprise. Everything Luka had done so far had been done so hesitantly or in complete surprise, that this instant and confident response from Luka was wholly unexpected by the teal haired girl. A huge smile broke on Miku’s face as she danced over to Luka and enveloped the taller girl in a firm hug.

“Thanks, Luka-chan! You’re so sweet!” Releasing her death grip over the pinkette Miku bounded down the street, twirling in a happy circle every couple of steps, seemingly unaffected by the scorching heat that had left many of the city’s population a sluggish mess. As the girl with the boundless energy danced to and fro down the street, Luka had been rendered a shambling zombie, only moving forward due to her need to follow the sparkling ray of light that was Miku.

The pair continued their walk in relative silence, Miku occasionally breaking out into unprompted fits of giggles, the previous dark atmosphere having all but evaporated. Miku looked about in wonder at the quaint little neighborhood, enjoying the suburban coziness around her.

“To think such a cute neighborhood is so close to where I live.” The teal haired girl whispered to herself as she waved at some nearby kids playing in the street, their little arms stretched high in the air. 

“Huh?” Luka looked at Miku in confusion at her choice of words, the tealette turning to her walking partner with a content smile on her face.

“I live down the other way, near that group of high rises so I’ve never been down this way.” Miku casually pointed down the way they came, the tops of the skyscrapers barely visible over the steep slope of the hill they had just trudged down.

“W-Why?” The pink-haired girl was left baffled by her companion's decision. Why had she come so far if she didn’t even live near here? She would have to walk all the way uphill again, including the distance to and from her home. It just made no sense to the young recluse.

“Hmm, why? I just wanted to spend more time with you, of course!”

Again. Once again the twin-tailed girl had rendered her absolutely speechless. This girl, this wonderful girl, had come so far out of her way, just to spend time with her. Luka didn’t believe anyone would want to even spend a single second longer than they had to with her, but Miku had inconvenienced herself just to be around her a little longer. The familiar sting of tears made itself known once again, Luka’s heart swelling up with a previously unknown feeling of happiness. 

“Th-Thank you.” A breathless whisper passed Luka’s lips, as she tried to non-conspicuously wipe away the budding tears in the corner of her eyes. For the first time in months, a smile found it’s way onto Luka’s face.

“Hmm, what was that?” Miku leaned down low, trying to once again to catch a glimpse of Luka’s face. She caught the barest hint of a smile on the pinkette’s lips before Luka once again obscured her features with her hood. The pink-haired girl merely shook her head playfully before continuing her walk home, looking back to see if Miku would follow her. And to her great delight, she did.

Unfortunately for the pair, their time together had to come to an end. A small sigh escaped Luka’s lips as her home started coming into view, the plain two-story house reminding her of the cold isolation awaiting her upon her return. Today had been the happiest Luka had been in a long time, but she knew at some point it would be over. But even so, she was not prepared to say goodbye.

Walking up to her front gate, fishing awkwardly for her house key in the deep recesses of her hood pocket, Luka turned her head sadly to the teal haired ball of sunshine, wanting to soak in every last second together she could. Miku was standing a couple of feet away from the pink-haired girl, a soft smile playing on her lips. 

“I had a lot of fun today. It was nice to meet you, Luka-chan.” Miku lifted her hand, palm facing outward, in a silent goodbye to her new friend. Luka bit her lip roughly, wanting to scream out all the things she wanted to tell the teal haired beauty, all of the embarrassing, joyous, and wonderful feelings she has felt in the short time they had been together. But, alas, the words would not come, stuck in her throat in an uncomfortable lump.

A sudden strong gust of wind whistled down the street, whipping up stray leaves and dirt, causing Luka’s hood to be blown off, exposing her face to Miku’s amazed eyes.

Long locks of luxurious pink hair blew majestically in the wind, finally freed from its cotton prison. The soft strands waving in the wind reminded Miku of fluffy cotton candy, it’s soft hue filling her with a feeling of love and comfort. Large aquamarine orbs stared in wide-eyed shock, soft pink lips parted in surprise, as a light dusting of red painted her pale cheeks as she watched Miku gaze at her with a fixated stare, drinking in her exposed features. 

Lowering her head, bangs falling in front of her eyes, Luka hastily unlocked the gate before rushing to her front door. Stray tears of humiliation fell like sparkling rain from her eyes as she rushed into her home, slamming the door roughly behind her.

Miku stood in place for several minutes after Luka’s rushed exit, still reeling from the stunning sight she had been graced mere moments ago. Shaking her head rapidly, twin tails whipping about violently, the teal haired girl snapped herself out of her stupor.

“Wow…I was right.” A sharp exhale escaped her chest as she nibbled lightly on her bottom lip. “She’s beautiful.”

Miku stared at the front door for a few seconds longer, a small part of her hoping the gorgeous pinkette would peek her head out one last time before she left. Smiling wryly, Miku decided to admit defeat for the day, sliding her phone back into her skirt pocket.

“I’ll ask for it next time.”


	3. To See Her Again

Rays of light shone incessantly onto the closed eyes of the pink-haired girl, her face scrunching up in annoyance as she rolled over to try and catch a couple more minutes, or preferably hours, of sleep, not wishing to deal with another day of disappointment.

Ever since the day she had met the teal-haired ray of sunshine, Luka had been nothing but miserable, kicking herself every day for having failed to ask for her Line ID. Instead, she had just freaked out and rushed into her house to hide in her room, crying for hours at how humiliated and stupid she felt for how she acted in front of someone who did not treat her as some kind of leech or a mental case.

There had been so many things she had wanted to say to Miku, to let her know how important their time together was, despite how short it was. Those words were now lost to time, never to be heard by anyone as she remained sequestered in her home. And now she was alone again, only her thoughts and her mother's silent judgment to accompany her.

Rolling onto her side, Luka propped up her upper body, her arms straining under her weight due to their lack of use. Since that day at the store, Luka had spent most of her days in bed, her thoughts and emotions wreaking havoc upon her mind as she spent hours crying, until eventually, sleep overtook her. Once the crying stopped, and the emotions ebbed, Luka was left with a cold emptiness in her chest, leaving her numb to the world.

Three days passed before her mother barged in and forced her to eat, the pinkette feebly resisting before letting herself be helped. The anger and worry in her mother’s eyes had jolted something inside of the pink-haired girl, knocking her out of her spiral of self-loathing, if only temporarily. Luka knew it would return, it always did, but, for the moment, she could take solace with the peace inside her mind. Luka hated that she acted this way over a simple interaction with a girl, but in the end, it was her own inability to cope that led her down this path.

In all this time, Luka had still not returned to school, her backpack lying unused in the corner of her room as it gathered dust. Her brief foray into the outside world and meeting with Miku had proven to her that she was unable to fit in with society anymore, that she was too far gone. She knew that going to school would just be a waste of her time and she didn’t want to give her mother any more false hope.

Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, Luka stood up on shaky legs, placing a steadying hand on the nearby wall as a bout of lightheadedness caused her head to swim. Apparently, spending several days in bed left your body in a sorry state. Letting the vertigo fade, the pinkette grabbed a hold of her phone from her bedside desk, unplugging the charger before slipping the device into the pocket of her trusty hoodie.

Walking down the stairs, Luka paused at the final step as she heard the familiar sound of the TV echoing from the living room, meaning her mother was currently home. While usually afraid of confrontation with her mother, her actions over the last couple of days seemed to have caused a larger rift to form between the two of them.

Luka had refused to tell her mother what had happened, too lost in her own depression and self-loathing to properly reach out to her, to tell her what was wrong. This lack of communication and her mother's inability to relate to her own daughter has caused the two to be at odds pretty much every day. It was like a pair of strangers sharing a home.

Taking a deep breath, the pink-haired girl began heading directly toward the living room where her mother was. The only way to mend the rift was for her to take that first step.

“G-good morning, M-mom.” Stepping into the room, the pinkette walked up behind the couch, her mother jolting slightly at her sudden appearance, the older woman turning her head to stare at her daughter in surprise. The look of shock only lasted for a second before it was replaced with the familiar withering stare Luka had become all too familiar with, ever since her mental state started deteriorating.

“Morning ended hours ago.” Turning back to her show, her mother failed to notice the pained expression on her daughters face, Luka flinching at the harsh tone in her mother's voice. The anti-social girl felt terribly stupid at that moment. Of course a simple hello would not be enough to undo all the damage she had caused.

“There’s no leftovers so you’ll have to fend for yourself.” Luka nodded her head reflexively, the action going unnoticed by the older woman as she continued to watch her program, oblivious to the pain she inadvertently inflicted upon her daughter.

The young shut-in was about to head to the kitchen to prepare herself a small meal, not having much of an apatite anymore, but a familiar voice coming from the TV caused her to freeze in place, her blue eyes widening in shock. Slowly turning around, Luka couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

“M-Miku?” 

There, surrounded by several national celebrities from all forms of entertainment, was a familiar teal-haired girl, the brilliance of her smile managing to shine even through the TV screen. She was wearing a super elaborate stage outfit, resembling some kind of circus leaders outfit just a lot more intricate and fancy, her long flowing hair sparkling majestically as the studio lights reflected off of it. A small diamond shape, like from a playing card, was painted on her cheek as a tiny top-hat sat atop her head, a scepter-like microphone clutched in her hand. Even amongst celebrities, the tealette managed to stand out.

“Hatsune Miku’s newest single, entitled ‘Bless Your Breath, drops this week and will be her first new song in almost a year, ever since her last chart-topping album took the nation by storm. Miku will be gearing up for a nation-wide concert tour in promotion of her newest album, which will be her fourth one in total. We are so glad you could join us today, Miku-chan!”

The world slowly faded away around her as Luka listened to the TV presenters introduction, her blue eyes fixated solely on the tealette on the screen, Miku giggling shyly at the elaborate introduction, the crowd cheering wildly for the young star.

‘She…she’s an idol?’ The pink-haired girl couldn’t believe what she was seeing as Miku expertly navigated the host's questions, joking and laughing with her fellow guests with practiced ease as if she belonged amongst them. A star amongst stars. 

Fishing her phone from her pocket, fingers trembling as they navigated through the menu toward her music playlist, Luka’s sucked in a deep breath as she saw a familiar name amongst her list of songs.

‘Hatsune Miku - Karakuri Pierrot’

“N-no….it can’t be.” This whole time. This whole time she had had a connection with her and she didn’t know it. She had spoken to a celebrity, walked home with her, was given a drink by her, and she had not recognized her. A celebrity, a social elite, had treated her with a kindness she had not known in years.

Luka’s breaths started coming out in labored bursts as her mind reeled at the new revelation, the pink-haired girl taking a couple of steps away from the couch as her brain yelled at her to run and hide, to escape the stressful situation she found herself in. Her mother turned in her seat, shooting her an annoyed look, a hint of worry in her eyes.

“Luka? What is it?” Locking eyes with her mother, Luka didn’t know what to do. She wanted to scream out, to tell her what happened that fated day when she had met Miku, a true idol, at the convenience store. But, in the end, would she believe her? The trust they had had with each other had slowly been eroded away, Luka believing the only reason she still loved her was because she was her mother and had to.

“I-It’s nothing.” Shaking her head, Luka averted her gaze, her fists clenched tightly as they nervously bunched up the edge of her sweater. What was the point? There was no way she’d believe her.

“Alright…” Staring at the pink-haired girl for a couple more seconds, Luka refusing to look at her, the older Megurine decided to give up and return to her show, chalking up the incident as another one of the things she couldn’t understand about her daughter.

Looking back at the screen, watching as Miku let out a boisterous laugh that caused the pink-haired girl's heart to flutter, Luka wondered if she had gone back to the convenience store, would she have seen her again?  
\-----  
Several days had passed since the big revelation of Miku’s identity and despite her want to see her again, Luka had not gone back to the store, remaining locked up in her room once again. Her heart and mind had screamed at her, waging war against each other on what to do, leaving her an indecisive mess for days.

Staring at her plain white ceiling, drawing imaginary lines along its surface, Luka once again fought an internal war with herself. She wanted to go, felt she needed to, just to confirm to it to herself, to finally let the whole thing go. But at the same time, the fear of getting hurt, that Miku did not want to see her again, which she believed to be inevitable, left her in her current predicament.

Surely their short time together had not impacted the teal-haired girl as much as it had her, the chipper idol no doubt having tons of friends, never mind the love of her numerous adoring fans. Luka herself had been a fan without even knowing it. There is no way someone like her, an exuberant ball of sunshine, would have seen anything noteworthy from a stuttering, depressed mess of a person like herself.

And yet, with all of her thoughts pointing to the negative, Luka lifted herself out of her bed, her steps steady and back straight, as she left her room with an unfamiliar feeling of determination. 

Pain was nothing new to the young shut-in, sadness and hurt permeating every aspect of her life for the last couple of years. But now, with this slim chance of happiness within her grasp, no matter how fleeting, was she supposed to just let it go.

Slipping on her sandals, the spare set of keys tucked safely in her pocket, Luka glanced one last time at her empty home, giving herself one last chance to back out, to return to her room and let time slowly fade this hope into a distant memory. Gripping the door handle tightly, Luka swung the wooden door open roughly and stepped determinedly out into the world.  
\------  
The sun once again cast its burning rays upon the young pinkette’s shoulders, it’s scorching heat hampering every one of the girl’s steps. But this time, as sweat poured down her forehead, Luka was walking with an air of purpose, her blue eyes shining brightly as she slowly trudged up the steep hill. 

Her chest was on fire as she made her way up the steep incline, her footsteps speeding up more and more the closer she got to her destination. Luka didn’t know what was driving her forward like this, giving her energy she did not know she still had. Was a chance of happiness really such a strong motivating factor for her? 

While she would usually deride herself for such foolhardy flights of fancy and pointless daydreams, Luka kept moving forward, the soles of her feet screaming in pain as the heat from the asphalt burnt the exposed skin underneath her sandals. Unzipping the front of her hoodie, her black undershirt clinging uncomfortably against her sweat-soaked skin, Luka broke out into a dead sprint as the top of the hill became visible, the stores sign slowly cresting over the edge. 

What was she going to find? What if she’s not there? What if she is? What would she say? All these questions bounced through her skull as she sprinted up the hill, her cheeks flush with heat as every intake of breath stung her chest. No matter what she found at the top, at least Luka would know she had tried to make her life better and that hopefully, one day, she could be happy again.

Arriving at the top of the hill, Luka gave herself a second to catch her breath, the pink-haired girl hunching over, gripping her knees tightly as she sucked in lungfuls of precious air. Large droplets of sweat fell onto the pavement below, her clothes pressing uncomfortably against her skin as she wiped her brow with the back of her sweater. 

Lifting herself back into a standing position, the pink-haired girl panned her eyes across the front of the store, her blue orbs widening in surprise as tears began trickling down her cheeks.

Crouched in front of the store's entrance, her back resting against the side of the building, dressed in a simple pair of high-waisted shorts and midriff-baring blouse, was Hatsune Miku. A small pout was on her lips as the tealette stared down the road, her aquamarine eyes lazily scanning the horizon as if she was waiting for someone.

Swiveling her head back around, Miku perked up in surprise as she locked eyes with the panting pinkette, a brilliant smile overtaking her face as she hopped to her feet, running toward the stupefied shut-in with her twin-tails trailing behind her.

The pop idol came to halt before the pink-haired girl, Miku smiling up at Luka as she giggled merrily at the stunned look on the pinkette’s face. 

“You took your time getting here! I’ve been coming here every day hoping to see you.”

Luka stood there stunned, mouth agape, as Miku admonished her, frowning playfully at her before breaking out into cheerful laughter. Despite the shock and surprise that was currently running through her mind, Luka couldn’t help the feeling of joy that was bubbling up within her, the pink-haired shut-in smiling brightly as joyous laughter danced out of her chest as she wiped her tears.

“Sorry for keeping you waiting.”


	4. Getting To Know Each Other

Now that she was here, standing in front of the teal-haired girl that had invaded her mind for the last week, Luka had no idea what to do. All of her courage had slowly dwindled away as soon as those embarrassing words left her mouth, her face now matching perfectly with her hair. Nervously wringing her hands, the pinkette pulled back into her shell, her shoulders pulling closer to her body as she tried to make herself as small as possible.

“You don’t have to apologize, silly.” Grinning brightly, Miku playfully booped the taller girl on the nose, laughing as Luka’s eyes crossed to stare at where the tealette had pressed her finger. Grabbing a hold of the shut-in’s wrist, the pop-idol began dragging Luka down the road, the pink-haired girl stumbling slightly at the sudden movement.

“C’mon. I’m getting hungry and I know this great little restaurant just a couple of blocks from here.” Panic shot down Luka’s spine as the teal-haired girl pulled her down the street, her mind clouding over as dread started creeping into her thoughts.

Her free hand gripped the hem of her hoodie roughly, keenly aware of how under-dressed she was in comparison to the stylish pop-idol in front of her. Luka was worried that she was going to embarrass the teal-haired girl if she was caught in public with such a ratty-looking girl as herself. Nevermind the fact that she had not showered that day and slept in the very same clothes she was wearing right now.

Her heartbeat thrummed loudly in her ear at every step that took the pinkette further and further away from the safety of her home, her eyes clenching shut as she tried to block out the visual stimulation to help settle the rising panic building within.

Luka tried to quell the screams in her head by focusing on the soft, delicate hand wrapped around her wrist, how firmly yet gently Miku held onto her. It gave her an unexpected feeling of comfort that helped calm her mind enough to keep her anxiety attack at bay. For now, at least.

Miku happily dragged the hapless girl toward her favorite restaurant, blissfully unaware of her companion's mental state, so excited to finally share it with the pinkette after a week of disappointment and pining to notice the girls rising tension. Her heart was beating a mile a minute as she declared this to be her lucky day after finally being reunited with the cute pink-haired girl she met all those days ago.

Something about the shy pinkette had pulled the rising pop star in as if gravity itself had shifted toward Luka with Miku being the only one to be caught in her orbit. And frankly, she didn’t care, as her short time with the pink-haired girl had caused her heart to flip-flop and soar like nothing in her life had ever done before. Even if it was only just a little crush, Miku still wanted to see where this meeting could possibly lead.

“And here we are!” Letting go of Luka’s wrist, immediately missing the gentle warmth it provided, Miku dramatically pointed toward a fairly nondescript looking restaurant, a beaming smile plastered on her face as she spread her arms out wide in excitement. “I’m a regular here so they’ll get us a good seat. C’mon, c’mon.”

Bouncing behind the stupefied girl, Miku began playfully pushing the pinkette into the restaurant, her joyful giggles drowning out Luka’s feeble protests.

A soft ding announced the pair’s entrance as they stepped into the tealette’s favorite restaurant, Luka’s blue eyes frantically darting across the building’s interior, her heart hammering loudly in her chest as she took in the myriad amount of people packed within.

Pretty much every table in the restaurant was occupied, loud chatter ringing painfully in her ear like gunfire, the pinkette uncomfortably aware of every single person and their location in the building. So many people. Too many. Loud. So very loud.

Pressing one of her palms against her ear, Luka tried to drown out as many of the voices that she could, the pinkette not wanting to ruin this moment with the pop idol, it possibly being her only chance at making a friend. Taking deep breaths, the social recluse tried her best to quell the rising panic in her chest. She had to be strong. She couldn’t lose this.

“Ah, Hatsune-san! Welcome back!” A large man with a well-kept mustache, his long hair pulled into a dirty ponytail, approached the twin-tailed with open arms, his mouth pulled into a joyous smile. “Got a nice spot for you near the back. Come, come.”

“Thanks, Taro-san!” Grabbing a hold of Luka’s wrist once more, the pinkette’s heartbeat skyrocketing dramatically, the shut-in was pulled into the back of the restaurant, her eyes clenched shut as they passed by the other patron's tables, hoping to avoid their disgusted stares. She didn’t want to ruin Miku’s image, to tarnish it with her lowly presence. 

Her fingers itched to pull her hood over her head, to block out the world until nothing but the silence in her mind remained. Too much. It was too much. She needed to get out. She needed to get out NOW!

“Luka-chan?” Snapping her eyes open, Luka stared into the worried gaze of the twin-tailed girl, Miku’s teal orbs shining with worry. Noticing that they had arrived at their table, Miku already seated at the other end, the pink-haired girl could feel an embarrassed blush cover her cheeks. Quickly taking a seat, Luka lowered her gaze immediately, afraid to see the disappointed look on Miku’s face.

“Hey, are you ok?” A now much too familiar warmth covered her hand, Luka’s fingers nervously scratching on the wooden surface of the table, the pink-haired girl unaware that she had been doing it to begin with. Luka could feel a wave of shame fill her body, the chatter of the crowd seemingly rising in volume in her mind, their imaginary taunts and jeers piercing her heart painfully.

Ripping her hand free from Miku’s gentle grip, the tealette letting out a small gasp of surprise at the unexpected move, Luka pressed her hands firmly against her ears, her head aching from the pressure she was putting upon herself. Quick, shallow breaths fired out of her mouth at a rapid pace, her pounding heartbeat painfully stinging her head as she tried to block out the world.

This was the worst possible scenario Luka could think of coming to life. Here, in a lovely restaurant with a famous pop idol, one who had treated her so kindly and who Luka hoped might even become her friend, and she was suffering from an anxiety attack. She hated herself, she hated her life, she hated how unfair everything was.

Painful tears stung the corners of her eyes, small droplets splashing noiselessly onto the table’s surface, her pink hair obscuring her features. Luka regretted leaving her house that day. Even if she ended up alone for the rest of her life, at least she would not feel this horrible shame, she would not have ruined Miku’s day. She would not be feeling this pain. Sometimes, being numb was the better option.

A soft, but firm hand on her arm pulled the pink-haired girl momentarily out of her spiral, feeling the person tug gently on her arm, indicating it wanted her to stand up. Placing her hands shakily against the table, Luka lifted herself onto trembling legs, letting the person guide her away from the table and through the restaurant.

Through the haze in her mind, Luka could just barely register Miku asking the man she had talked to earlier if they could use the back exit, the tealette's voice thick with concern and haste. The pinkette assumed he gave them the ok as she was gently escorted down an empty hallway and through a heavy metal door, her blue eyes staring distantly at the ground beneath her feet, the pair stepping quickly into the narrow alleyway.

The humidity of the outside world washed over Luka’s body the second they passed the threshold of the exit way, the shaded alley only marginally cooler as it stood within the shadow of the multi-story complex next door, before she was pulled along onto the main street, the sun stinging her eyes momentarily as they adjusted to the light.

“Things are going to be ok.” Miku's soft voice cut through the fog in her mind momentarily, the pop idol’s arm wrapped securely around her shoulder, guiding the despondent pinkette toward an unknown location. The social recluse kept her gaze locked firmly on her feet, watching them take step by step without any conscious effort on her part, relying solely on the teal-haired girl to move her forward. 

After an unknown amount of time, Luka’s mind unable to function properly as she fought to keep herself from shutting off completely, the sun’s harsh rays were replaced by a gentle shade, the blinding light subdued to a soft glow. Lifting her head, the gentle breeze rolling through the city cooling her sweat-covered brow, Luka examined her surroundings through cloudy eyes.

Miku had led them to a secluded park within the town’s business district, a miniature oasis of green in a sea of corporate gray, the trees providing the area with some much-needed shade from the blazing sun above. A wooden bench, its surface lightly worn from years of use, stood before them, Miku ushering her to take a seat before plopping down next to her.

The pair sat like that for several minutes, Luka’s head hung low as she kept her eyes downcast, trying to block out as much of the world around her as possible except for the teal-haired girl by her side, taking comfort in the fact that she had not abandoned her as soon as she could.

They sat like that for what felt like ages to the pink-haired girl, her breathing slowly coming under her control, Miku chiming in with occasional words of comfort and running soothing circles over her back. The pop idol did not push Luka to open up, simply gauging the pink-haired girl’s reaction, giving her the space and time she needed to gather herself.

As the minutes rolled by, Miku and Luka slowly began sliding closer and closer to each other, the pink-haired girl’s erratic breathing eventually evening out until she was back to a normal state. Resting up against the pop idol's side, her head placed comfortably onto the shorter girl's shoulder as Miku ran her fingers through Luka’s long hair, the pink-haired girl couldn’t help the relaxed sigh that passed her lips. At that moment, Luka felt a sense of peace and comfort she had not felt in a long, long time.

“If you want to talk about it, I’m here for you.” Luka stiffened slightly at the teal-haired girl's sudden words, a slight bit of panic rising in her chest at the prospect of having to relive what she just went through. A gentle but firm hand on her temple pulled Luka out of her dread spiral, Miku softly rubbing her thumb across the side of her head.

“If you don’t want to, that’s ok too. Whatever you are comfortable with.” Luka’s heartbeat sped up at those simple, yet impactful, words, just knowing someone was there for her, not pushing her to talk about her pain, put her usually worried mind at ease.

“I’m sorry.” Burrowing her face into the pop-idols shoulder, the teal-colored hair tickling her cheeks as it enveloped her, Luka grabbed a hold of the girl's blouse, her usual shyness forgotten as she pressed closer into Miku’s side. “I messed everything up.”

“No, you didn’t. Everything is fine.” Luka was surprised by the twin-tailed girl's steadfast denial of her words, the blunt honesty managing to bring a small smile to the pinkette’s lips. This girl couldn’t be real. No one has ever been this nice to her. 

It brought Luka immense amounts of joy to know that Miku, famous pop star Miku, was such a kind and caring person, especially to someone as messed up as her. She hadn’t left. Hadn’t been scared away when she found out just how screwed up she was. Luka felt like her heart could burst at any moment.

“We can always make it up another time. Somewhere where you would feel more comfortable.” Simply nodding her head into Miku’s shoulder, a light dusting of pink on her cheeks, Luka’s smile only widened as she softly closed her eyes, trying to enjoy this moment a little bit longer   
\------  
The sun was hanging low in the sky, bathing the city in a soft orange hue, when Luka and Miku decided it was time to head home, the pair walking down the empty street at a languid pace, simply enjoying each others company for as long as possible.

After Luka had sufficiently calmed down, the pinkette reluctantly removing herself from the girl's side with an embarrassed blush on her cheeks, the two of them sat on that park bench for several hours longer, Miku only momentarily excusing herself to buy the two of them some Vegetable Juice. With a sheepish smile, Miku explained it was her favorite drink ever since she was a kid after Luka gave her a quizzical stare, the drink not usually a very popular choice amongst their age group.

Sipping on their drinks, Luka wincing occasionally at the bitter taste on her tongue, the two talked for hours and hours, about everything and nothing, just enjoying each other's company, trying to learn as much as possible about each other as quickly as possible. A wide smile was plastered on the social recluse’s face the whole time, truly enjoying finally having someone to talk to.

“I really like spending time with you.” The pink-haired girl was pulled from her joyful reminiscing by Miku’s sudden exclamation as the pair turned down onto Luka’s street, the familiar two-story house coming into view. 

“I..I enjoy spending time with you t-too, Miku-c-chan.” Luka’s face broke out in a dark red blush as she stuttered out the cutesy honorific, the twin-tailed idol having harassed her for several minutes until Luka agreed to refer to her by her first name. It took several extra minutes until she finally got her to use the -chan.

Walking up to her front gate, the black bars symbolizing her self-made prison much to aptly for her comfort, Luka turned to her shorter companion with a heavy heart, knowing she was returning to her life of isolation once more.

“W-well, this is my home.” Shaking her head at how stupid she was, Luka remembering that Miku had been here before, the pink-haired girl gave the pop-idol a thankful smile. “Thank you for hanging out with me and helping me out.”

“It’s no problem, really! I had fun.” Miku’s infectious smile caused the pinkette to sport one of her own, causing the tightness in her chest to lighten slightly, knowing that even if it was just for today, Luka had been happy. Maybe one day, she can be again.

“Umm, I should go. I didn’t tell my mom that I was going out today.” Pushing open the front gate, its hinges creaking softly from lack of maintenance, Luka took her first back into isolation, steeling herself for the inevitable emotional crash she would suffer once she was back in her room.

“Wait!” Jumping in fright at the sound exclamation, the pink-haired girl turned wide-eyed to the girl behind her, Miku’s hand stretched out as if trying to stop her. 

“I want to exchange phone numbers!” Miku pulled an expensive-looking smartphone, brightly colored with little trinkets dangling underneath it, from her pocket, pointing the screen toward the bewildered girl. “That way we can talk more and make plans to hang out again. We still need to make up for earlier!”

Luka stood dumbfounded for several seconds, staring unblinkingly at the cheerful tealette as she fumbled in her sweater pocket for her phone, unlocking the screen with shaking fingers. Loading the Line app, Luka held her phone out slowly, Miku excitedly holding her’s close to the pink-haired girls, the unfamiliar ping of contacts being exchanged ringing like music in her ear.

“Yay! I’ll text you later, ok?! I have an album signing tomorrow so I need to go. Bye, Luck-chan!”

Turning gracefully on her heel, blouse ruffling gently with her movements, Miku gave her new friend a cheerful wave before running down the street, quickly disappearing from sight down one of the side streets.

Luka stared at where the exuberant idol had disappeared for several seconds before lowering her head, her unblinking eyes fixed on the single name on her contact list as an ecstatic smile covered her face, tears of joy prickling at the corner of her blue orbs:

~Miku-chan~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendship has been established!
> 
> Things aren’t immediately going to be easy for Luka, even if she has found someone who is more willing to accept her for who she is, the road to recovery being a long and difficult one. But Luka has taken her first step towards healing and that is sometimes the hardest one.


	5. This Is Me

Blue eyes stared intently at the shiny rectangular device in front of them, its display shining brightly in the dimly lit room, casting a long shadow of the person’s body across the bedroom wall. Their unblinking gaze was fixated upon a single name on the screen, eyes sparkling with happiness and glee as they read it over and over again, unable to believe that what they were seeing was real.

~Miku-chan~

Luka’s soft, pink lips were upturned into a joyous smile as she read the contact name to herself for what had to be the hundredth time, her heart hammering loudly in her chest as she pictured Miku’s beaming face as they exchanged numbers, a light dusting of pink staining her cheeks.

‘I have a friend.’ That single thought played through the pinkette’s mind on loop for over an hour now, Luka somehow having managed to stumble her way back home and into her room before plopping into her bed, the social recluse unable to wipe the smile from her face the entire time. And she didn’t want to.

This was something she had dreamed of for ages now, once considered an impossibility to her, but the proof to the opposite was sitting right in front of her, little cutesy emoji’s surrounding the professional idols name. That thought only caused Luka to feel even more that this couldn’t be real, that maybe she was just dreaming after all and she will awaken very soon in her bed, alone and miserable once more.

But, the longer she stared at the number, the bright light from her screen slowly burning her eyes until a light reddish tint appeared on her sclera, the more the pinkette knew It had to be real. And she couldn’t help how giddy it made her feel inside. Happiness was something she was not quite accustomed to anymore.

Finally breaking her gaze away from the idol’s name, Luka’s smile slowly fell, her lips pulled into a thin line as she read a certain person’s number on her contact list. It was the only other one to be seen, sandwiched between Miku’s and her mothers, a glaring reminder of a past she will never escape.

Her father.

The pink-haired recluse knew she should probably just get rid of it, the number having long been disconnected after all, but Luke couldn’t bear the thought of it being gone. As much as it hurt her to see that name, a painful reminder of what led her to this state of being, a small part of her still hoped that her phone will ring and when she picked up it would be his voice on the other side, telling her that everything was going to be ok.

Dropping the arm holding her phone to her side, her expression downcast, Luka stared with glazed eyes at the crumpled sheets beneath her, a distant longing aching her chest. It seemed, no matter what she did, how bright the future might look, something will always bring her back down, to writhe in the filth of her true life once more. 

Slumping her shoulders, her fingers slowly uncurling from their tight grip on her phone, Luka could feel a familiar dark sensation crawl through her chest, casting a dark shadow over her heart. Her whole body started feeling heavy, her eyelids drooping as the will to stay awake, to deal with the slowly creeping intrusive thoughts in the back of her mind, faded away. All she wanted to do was sleep, to forget all about the world, and the pain it would inevitably drop onto her already overburdened shoulders.

A sudden vibration in her hand, traveling like a soft tremor through her fingers, followed by a playful ding that echoed through the silent room, startled the pink-haired girl out of her depressed haze. The sound, bright and cheerful, awoke a long lost sensation within her mind, echoing back to a time long forgotten.

Lifting up her phone, the lock screen lit up brightly within the creeping darkness of the room, Luka could feel her heart jump involuntarily in her chest, a small, pleasant buzz shooting through her brain as she read the notification plastered across the center of the display.

‘New Message - ~Miku-chan~’

Unlocking the screen with a trembling swipe of her finger, the Line app popping up instantly, Luke stared wide-eyed at the simple message, an unfamiliar feeling in her chest causing tears to well up in the corner of her eye.

‘Wanted to wish you goodnight before heading to bed! I’ll let you know when I’m free next so we can hang out, kay? I’ll make sure to sneak a signed copy of my new CD for you hee hee. Sweet dreams Luka-chan!’

Luka reread the message over and over again, a warming sensation traveling through her chest as she repeatedly skimmed over the message, her smile growing wider and wider after each one. A gentle light, like the sun rising in the morning, sparked within her heart, simply from a sweet, considerate text sent by this amazing girl. Her first friend. 

Flopping down onto her bed, her head gently resting against her pillow, Luka looked at the message one last time before pressing the lock button on the side of her phone, the room being bathed in total darkness as the light from the screen blinked out. Placing her phone face down next to her, her fingers placed gently on its cool housing, Luka let her blue eyes slowly fall closed, a soft smile remaining plastered on her lips as she drifted off to sleep.

For the first time in what felt like ages, Luka had no bad dreams.  
\-----  
“Here you go, Luka-chan!”

Holding out her hands eagerly, a square, plastic item clutched tightly between her fingers, Miku presented the taller girl with a signed copy of her CD, just like she had promised. 

The young idol had been true to her word, startling the pink-haired girl awake after another long midday slumber with a lengthy text-message about how her signing went, Luka smiling softly about how much the tealette loved her fans. Buried within the waterfall of words, emojis littered about like ancient hieroglyphs, Miku let her know she would be free the next day to hang out.

Luka spent the rest of her day in a dazed state of bliss, wanting nothing more than the day to end so she could see the twin-tailed idol as soon as possible.

“T-thank you, Miku-chan. Y-you d-didn’t have to.” Taking the offered item with trembling fingers, Luka stared at the front cover in awe, Miku’s beautifully handwritten autograph sitting in the corner, a small key-chain of her logo taped to the back as part of a pre-order incentive. Despite how precious such items were to many collectors and fans, which she herself was, Luka was too enraptured by the beautiful album cover to care.

Dressed in a stunningly designed outfit that hugged her body tightly, pop-art words printed across it’s white and blue surface, Miku truly made a stunning sight as her long twin-tails fell in dramatic swirls from a magnificent headdress, the young idol smiling joyfully at the camera. Looking upon this beautiful sight, Luka couldn’t help the small blush that managed to crawl up to her cheeks, her aquamarine eyes involuntarily falling back to the little window that exposed Miku’s trim stomach. 

“It’s fine, it’s fine. We had lots.” Miku waved the pinkette’s concerns off with a gentle smile and playful wink, a small nervous lilt in her voice as she averted her gaze from the pink-haired girl, Luka still looking at her present in awe. 

The truth was, that Miku had to secretly hide away a copy in her bag before the store opened as the lineup of fans easily snaked across several city blocks, the supply of CD’s given to them unable to meet the demand of her amazingly loyal fans. When the supply inevitably ran out and a loud chorus of saddened aww’s echoed through the store and down the street, Miku couldn’t help the small pang of guilt in her chest.

Not wanting to disappoint her fans, Miku suggested to her manager that she could take a personal picture with anyone who was left, to make sure everyone went home happy and with something to remember the day for. 

Meiko had been wary of the suggestion at first, her own former life as an idol letting her know just how precious Miku’s time was, but the pleading look in the young girl's eyes and the earnestness of her request caused her to relent. It could only help to further increase her popularity amongst the public.

Placing her hand over her mouth as she let out a tiny yawn, the young idol’s day having run long due to the extra hour spent taking pictures, Miku shook her head quickly to try and rid herself of the last remnants of fatigue, fully determined to make this a fun day for Luka, her own tiredness be damned.

“You want some coffee? I know this nice little cafe just a couple of blocks from here. Barely anyone goes there and the booths are nice and private.” Giving the pinkette a cheerful grin, her eyes closed happily as she pointed a thumb behind her, Miku giggled a bit when Luka’s head shot up in surprise, a small dusting of pink coloring the taller girls pale cheeks.

“U-um yeah. That would be nice.” Nodding almost imperceptibly, Luka felt a small flutter in her stomach at how considerate the tealette was being, not only asking her first but also taking into consideration her negative reaction from last time without drawing attention to it. Such kindness had become something truly foreign to the social recluse.

“Let’s go!” Throwing out her arm in a wild gesture, her finger stretched straight out as she dramatically pointed down the road, Miku whipped around to wrap herself around the taller girl's arm, gently guiding her down the street. “Slowly. Let’s enjoy this nice day.” 

Blushing slightly at the intimate gesture, Luka felt a small smile curl on her lips as she nodded at the shorter girl, Miku smiling up at her as the two made their way down the road, the sun shining gently upon the new friends.  
\-----  
Ever since that day, Luka and Miku spent pretty much every day together, the young idol dragging the pinkette to various little spots and stores in the neighborhood, the two of them just enjoying spending their days together and getting to know each other.

Luka found out that Miku had a great dislike of milk but, at the same time, had a strange fondness for leeks. The pink-haired girl had almost spit out her drink, letting out a loud sputter, tea flying everywhere when she found out that the strange little mascot that appeared in a lot of the idol’s commercials, with its stubby arms and legs and swirly eyes, was created by Miku herself. 

But for everything she learned about the twin-tailed girl, she inevitably had to share some things about herself, though the darker thoughts and feelings, let alone her past, remained buried. For now at least. A small embarrassed blush flushed Luka’s cheeks a healthy pink when the young idol began giggling uproariously at how cute it was that the pinkette’s favorite animal was the octopus, the social recluse having often times as a child compared her wild pink hair to the sea creatures squiggly legs. 

Luka learned that a lot of the songs Miku wrote were actually from personal experiences, though some had to be slightly altered to be more narratively interesting. This blew the social-recluses mind as Luka had often related to a lot of Miku’s lyrics, especially some of the more emotional ones, feeling like they could have been written by someone going through the same things as she was.

To find out they belonged to such a peppy, upbeat girl made her reevaluate a lot of things about her new friend. No matter how someone might look on the outside, how wonderful their life might seem, everyone was suffering in some way. It made Luka want to hold the shorter girl close and make any pain she had ever felt go away.

But, despite all the joy and happiness now in her life, Luka just couldn’t find it within herself to attend school again. Every time her eyes would fall upon her school uniform hanging in the closet, lovingly pressed and cleaned by her mother, Luka would feel the familiar dread well up in her chest, threatening to suffocate her as her mind fell into a downward spiral of fear and hate. All directed toward herself and who she was. About how much of a fuck-up and disappointment she was, at how pathetic she was, unable to do a simple task that kids around the world could do with ease.

The pink-haired girl would slam the closet door shut, sharp breaths rolling out of her chest as she pressed herself into a corner, her head placed against her huddled up knees as she pressed her hands tightly against her ears, trying to push away the dark thoughts before they could overwhelm her. 

She just had to repress them long enough to go see Miku, hoping against hope that the time together with the young idol would cause them to fade, to temporarily soothe her mental wounds until the dark of the night would return them to her once more.

Some days, when things got too hard, when she lay paralyzed in bed, intrusive thoughts carving her soul to pieces, Luka would have to cancel on Miku. Tears would prickle at the corner of her eyes as she typed out the message, confident that this time it would surely be the last, that Miku would finally have enough of her and leave her. A sob would tear through her throat when she would hit send, dropping the phone roughly onto her bed before placing her head in her hands, the tears finally falling as she let out cries that would wrack through her whole body.

But, every time, Miku would prove her wrong. At first, the twin-tailed idol would simply text her, asking her if she was ok, letting her know everything was alright and that they can always hang out another time. After a while, as their friendship progressed and Luka’s bad days continued, Miku began calling her when these moments happened instead of texting, staying on the phone with the pink-haired girl for as long as she could, oftentimes talking to Luka for several hours at a time. Her voice would be soft and soothing, caring and loving, reassuring Luka that she would be ok. That ‘they’ were ok.

It was during one of these calls, the sun slowly setting from behind her curtains, that Luka decided to take a risk.

“M-Miku?” Luka called out, her voice soft and hoarse from crying, her hand weakly holding on to the device in her hand as she fought through the worry and fear coursing through her, telling her this was a bad idea. Even if it was, if this ended it all, she had to be honest with Miku who had been nothing but sweet and kind to her. “C-can you meet me at the convenience store? I need to tell you something.”

“Of course, Luka-chan.” Hearing rustling in the background, the sound of doors opening and closing followed by the jingling of keys, Luka was surprised at how quickly the young idol had agreed to her request. “I’m heading over right now. Don’t rush, I can wait. See you in a bit.”

With a quick beep, the line went dead, Miku’s voice disappearing from the other end, leaving Luka in complete silence. Lowering the phone from her ear, the pinkette girl took several shuddering breaths, her body quivering slightly at the daunting task ahead of her. Digging deep, grasping at every last inch of willpower within her, Luka sluggishly managed to force herself into a seated position, her mind and body crying out to her to just lay back down and let everything around her fade away.

But Luka was determined. She had finally gotten the courage to ask for help, to reach out to someone else, and Luka was not about to let that slip from her grasp. Especially not after Miku had quietly supported her this whole time, never prying too deep when they talked about themselves, remaining conscious of her mood and fears, doing everything she could to make Luka feel safe and happy. The twin-tailed girl deserved to know what she was dealing with, to have the full picture of just what kind of a mess the pink-haired recluse was and giving her the choice to get out of there before things got too hard.

Luka may burden the young idol with her problems today, but Miku would have the chance to get out before she got hurt. The pink-haired girl knew it wouldn’t be the same for her, Luka having already become invariably attached to the bubbly tealette, but it would be ok. 

Luka was already used to pain.

Stumbling out of her room, every part of her body screaming at her to just give up, her stomach growling loudly up at her, mad for its days of neglect. But she soldiered on, awkwardly stumbling out of the front door, keys stuffed roughly into her pocket, the pinkette taking the long trek up the hill with slow methodical footsteps, taking occasional breaks to let her mind and body rest from the emotional turmoil of being outside the comforts of her bed.

The sun had almost completely disappeared over the horizon when she finally managed to make it up the godforsaken hill, the streetlights flickering on as the first signs of nighttime started blanketing the town. The gentle hum electricity flowing through the old lights, cicadas starting to end their daily song, surrounded the pink-haired girl as she approached the front of the store, a single teal-haired girl crouched by its entrance, an unopened can of iced coffee and a box vegetable juice sitting on the ground next to her.

“Hi.” Lifting her hand, her voice coming out at barely a whisper, Luka walked up to the waiting idol with nervous strides, her heart hammering loudly in her chest. Even now, with barely time to get ready, Miku still looked stunning.

“Luka-chan! Is everything ok?” Jumping to her feet, fumbling momentarily with the drinks as she tried to pick them up in her haste to check on the girl, Miku tugged lightly at the hem of her shirt, the oversized garment hanging almost down to her knees, the barest hint of some shorts peeking out from underneath.

“I-” Looking down at the offered drink, a can of sweet, iced coffee, Luka took it from the twin-tailed girl with a quiet ‘thank you’, Miku giving the taller girl a gentle smile. “C-can we go somewhere private, b-but not too far?”

“Of course. There’s a bench nearby where no one goes.” Gently taking the pinkette’s hand in her own, Miku began leading Luka to a secluded part of the neighborhood, the only sign of activity coming from the lights burning within a couple of office buildings, some lowly worker staying late to impress his boss in a thankless company.

“Here we go.” Guiding the girl to sit, Luka practically flopping onto the wooden bench, the pink-haired girl stared distantly at the drink in her hand as Miku took a seat next to her, the pair sitting in silence as she tried to gather her muddled thoughts. Luke didn’t know quite where to start, looking over the design covering the can of iced coffee with great interest, the social recluse not really too sure of everything that was going on in her brain herself. 

Luka just had to lay it all in the open for Miku and let what was to come, happen. And with that, the pink-haired girl told Miku everything.

“I haven’t been to school for almost a year.” Starting slow, her voice soft and measured, Luka kept her gaze focused on the can in her hand, using it to help center her thoughts. “Every time I try to go, I freak out or just shut off. I’m scared of going outside, of other people. I want to go, I desperately want to, but I can’t find a way to do it.”

Miku remained silent throughout Luka’s explanation, something the pinkette was grateful for as she idly traced her finger around the edge of the can, condensation starting to pool on the outside rim. The only way she knew she was listening at all was the tiny hand placed upon her forearm, tracing calming circles across her exposed skin with her fingernail.

“One day, things just…stopped making sense. How do you talk to people? How do you connect with others? With yourself? My thoughts became erratic, jumbled. I wasn’t able to figure myself out, all my thoughts feeling like someone else’s. I was an impostor in my body, someone moving it against my will to and from school. I didn’t want to be around anyone anymore, the idea of being seen, of talking to people, of living, became too hard to bear. I just shut off.”

Absently popping the tab, Luka took a quick swig of her drink, her throat feeling dry and painful. If it was from talking so much or from the lump slowly forming she wasn’t sure.

“Mom said it took me three days to finally talk again, chalking it all up to a couple of bad days at school, but I couldn’t even remember what happened. I just started feeling like nothing was worth it, that all these things I was doing were leading nowhere. I didn’t want to be around anymore.”

A soft gasp managed to escape Miku’s throat, her slow tracing coming to a stop as her fingers lightly gripped onto Luka’s wrist. Placing her drink down, Luka placed her hand softly on top of the idols, trying to let her know that it was ok.

“I think its depression, but I could be wrong. I don’t feel like killing myself, I know that much. But everything, everything feels wrong in my head. I want all the normal things you are supposed to want in life, like happiness, friends, and fun. At least, I think I do, but at the same time, it scares me. It’s like fire. Beautiful enough that you want to touch it, but fearing the heat and pain it will bring.”

Lifting her hand, a phantom flame dancing between her fingers, Luka risked a quick glance over at the silent girl by her side, Miku’s blue eyes looking at her with great sorrow. But still, she remained silent, letting her go on uninterrupted, willing to hear her out to the end.

“Everything started falling apart around that time. I stopped hanging out with my friends, or at least who I thought were my friends. Once I stopped responding and rejected every offer to hang out they just…stopped asking. Teachers didn’t know what was wrong with me, getting frustrated with my silence and distant attitude, finding it easier to just throw me out into the hall or send me home than try and work around a problem child.”

Miku’s grip on her wrist tightened as a small growl, that was almost cute, rolled out of her chest after that part of her story, a faint smile curling on Luka’s lips at how sweet she was.

“Doctors weren’t sure what it was, deciding to just chalk it up to a phase and later depression, quickly writing out a prescription and sending us on our way. Some tried to help, I know they did, but the best they could do was just talk to me, try and give me advice on what to do. None of it helped and one day I just stopped going to school. It was easier that way.”

Taking a deep breath, her eyes burning with unshed tears, the pink-haired girl tried to calm herself down. Luka hated the next part.

“Dad...Dad tried. I have to believe he did. Otherwise….otherwise he left because I wasn’t worth it. Wasn’t worth loving.”

Luka could feel herself choke up as the memories of her dad came rushing back, a painful sting piercing her heart as she remembered his smiling face when he would pet her gently on the top of her head when she did well in school or made them breakfast. How warm and strong his arms felt when he would pick her up and hug her, playfully laying kisses upon her cheeks, the two of them giggling happily together. 

“He was always so kind. He worked so hard for us, to make both me and Mom happy, coming home exhausted from work, sometimes smelling of beer after a late night with his coworkers. But he would always be there for me, with a smile on his lips and sparkle in his eyes, gently tucking me into bed and kissing my forehead softly. How could I have failed him so.”

Wiping roughly at the corner of her eyes, trying to stop the tears before they had a chance to fall, Luka, through chocked sobs tried to force the words from her mouth before she had a chance to chicken out.

“He didn’t tell me he was leaving. He didn’t even turn around, didn’t spare me a second glance as he walked out the door. I don’t think he loved me anymore. But, I can’t blame him, not really. I didn’t even cry when he left. I just watched the door for a while, wondering if he would come back, come back for me, for us. When I finally figured out that he wasn’t coming back, that he was gone for good, I just went to my room, staring at the ceiling for hours until I fell asleep. He was just….gone.” 

Hot tears began spilling from her eyes as she stared at the flickering lights above, the night sky spreading out behind the artificial light, moths gently fluttering around it, fruitlessly trying to reach the prize encased behind the hard plastic shell.

“Mom says she doesn’t blame me, that it had been brewing for a while, but I’ve seen the way she looks at me, heard her cries at night, silently cursing me for him leaving. She’s right. Of course she’s right. She’s alone now, her husband gone, no way of contacting him, her only company a daughter she doesn’t understand, who drove her family apart.”

“I just-” Tightly gripping her knees, her whole body trembling as tears spilled unending from her eyes, Luka let out a sorrowful scream, letting all of her anguish and pain out. “I just want to feel happy again! I don’t want these thoughts anymore! I want to understand myself again, to live in a head that makes sense! I hate being alone! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I don’t want to be alone anymore!”

Small arms pulled her into a tight, protective hug, the pink-haired girl burying her face into Miku’s shoulder as her cries of anguish tore from her throat, the young idol softly petting her pink hair as she stained her shirt with tears. Miku’s own tears started to fall from her blue eyes, small sniffles escaping her as she held the distressed girl as tightly as she could.

“I’m so, so sorry, Luka-chan.” Gently cooing in her ear, her fingers gliding softly through the taller girl’s pink hair, Miku could feel Luka’s cries only increase. Miku knew that wouldn’t be enough, that a simple ‘I’m sorry’ would not heal years' worth of pain and mental anguish. But, the idol was prepared to help her friend in any way she could.

“You never deserved any of that. There’s probably not much I can do, but I can give you this. I will always be your friend. I will be there for you whenever you need me and if I can’t I will let you know that I will be. I can’t take everything away and I’m not smart enough to figure out what is torturing you in your head.”

Luka’s tears started to slow as the tealette continued to speak, her screams slowly quieting as she listened to Miku’s words, a small light starting to brighten in her heart.

“I can be your friend. I can be there anytime you need me. I will listen to anything you have to say and I will be by your side in an instant. You aren’t alone anymore. You have me. And I’m glad I have you.”

Gripping the smaller girl tight, her fingers desperately digging into the fabric of her shirt, fresh tears started spilling forth from Luka’s eyes. But this time they were tears of happiness.

Luka had bared her soul to the twin-tailed girl, exposed every dark corner and emotional scar in her soul and she had not been pushed away. Luka had not been left alone, been condemned to a life of solitude and never-ending loneliness. Miku had pulled her close, kept her safe, and made a promise to stay with her.

Miku had accepted her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luka is not alone anymore.
> 
> We finally learn what happened to Luka and what she has gone through, both mentally and in her life. Making a friend is not the cure-all to mental disorders and I am in no way saying that. Mental health is a complicated issue and people who suffer from any mental disorder deserve all the help and support they need. 
> 
> This is a dramatized fictional story, but even so, Luka’s problems will not magically disappear just because she found a friend. She will still have trials and tribulations, but she now has someone there with her, someone to help her through her troubles.


	6. What Are These Feelings?

Dull, blue eyes gazed listlessly at the full-length mirror before them, the reflection staring back at her feeling strange and unnatural, the person within the parallel world seeming completely foreign to the pinkette. Lifting her arm, the stranger in the mirror perfectly imitating her movement, Luka pulled at the hem of the navy, blue blazer covering her upper body, the garment stiff and scratchy beneath her fingertips from months of disuse. Dropping her arm back down, fingers ghosting lightly across the dull gray fabric of her skirt, the pink-haired girl felt a nervous itch over her whole body, Luka wanting nothing more than to rip the clothes off of her as quickly as possible

‘This was a mistake.’ The reclusive girl thought ruefully as she continued to stare at her reflection, trying desperately to feel something, anything, that will spark an emotion deep inside of her. One that will make her happy, that will help her build up the courage to go back to school, to live her life once more. To heal. To get better.

But Luka could not reconcile the person in the mirror with who she was now. She didn’t see herself from long ago, giddily rushing down the street to meet her friends so that they could walk to school together, laughing and joking all the way as the sun reflected joyfully in their eyes. Sitting attentively in class, eyes glued to the board, both bored out of her mind and yet excited to learn, playfully jotting down notes to send to her friends. 

She failed to see herself.

All Luka saw was a stranger. An impostor in her own skin, dressed up as a phantom of the past, constantly taunting, mocking her. Reminding her of something she lost a long time ago, that she will never get back, forever out of reach. The concept of a normal life, one that would make her mother happy, that will make her fit in properly with the society she had been hiding away from, was so painfully impossible to fathom.

Seeing herself like this, all dressed up, hair done up in a lazy ponytail, made her sick to her stomach. A painful gnawing in her chest, like bugs beneath her skin, made her want to tear her shirt open and claw incessantly at her flesh until it went away, even if it left her scratched and bleeding. This wasn’t right, it wasn’t who she was. It felt…wrong. She was nothing like the stranger in her mirror.

Just a girl playing make-believe.

Reaching behind herself, Luka quietly undid her ponytail, her pink locks falling silently around her shoulders like cherry blossoms falling from a dying tree. Slipping out of the blazer, the stark white shirt underneath matching uncomfortably close to her pale skin, the pinkette turned her back to the mirror as she undid the first button. The social recluse kept her gaze fixed straight ahead, blue eyes staring absently at nothing as Luka tried to avoid looking at her body at all cost, a slight bit of anxious panic rising in her chest at having to be so exposed, even in her own room.

Sliding out of her shirt, the sun's rays flittering between the drawn curtains, a thin strip of light ran diagonally across her body, illuminating the pasty white skin of her upper body, clad only in a simple white bra. Unhooking the clasp in the back, her whole body flinching in disgust when her fingers lightly brushed up against her skin, the reclusive girl quickly threw her bra into the closet, a brief flash of anger crossing her features as she glared at the offensive item in revulsion.

What right did she have to dress up?! To pretend like she was like everyone else. Putting on some pretty garments, doing her hair, would not make her like everyone else. She wasn’t normal.  
She wasn’t pretty. There was no hidden beauty lying deep within just waiting to be found. She was just a failure, a disturbing mental mess in a disgusting, undernourished body. She was hideous. 

With a heavy sigh, the anger slowly dissipating, Luka carefully unzipped the side of her skirt, the garment falling unceremoniously to the ground, lying by her feet like a puddle of fabric. Stepping over the piece of clothing, eyes still firmly avoiding her body, the pink-haired girl quickly retrieved her trusty hoodie that was lying haphazardly on top of her bed and slipped it on, it’s comforting warmth slowly quelling the rising panic in her chest. 

Slipping on a pair of skin-tight black shorts, Luka let out a long, shuddering breath of relief before the pinkette collapsed gracelessly onto the edge of her bed, her legs still quivering as the adrenalin slowly drained from her system, leaving her weak and exhausted. Pulling the hood over her head, the surrounding world slowly disappeared from Luka’s periphery, blanketing her in a cocoon of safety, away from the cruel outside, left only with her thoughts for company.

Fiddling with the edge of her shorts, Luka absently wondered if Miku thought she was boring or unattractive for always showing up to their meetings in the same outfit, never once taking the time to add a bit of makeup or a little extra flourish to her ensemble. Miku was always wearing something truly outstanding every time they hung out, the twin-tailed girl making even the simplest of clothing choices look amazing and classy, her bright smile always finding a way to make everything around her seem dull and washed out in comparison.

Shaking her head, Luka pulled her hood a little further over her head, her hands pressing lightly against the side of her head as she pulled her feet up onto the bed, her knees pressed tightly into her chest. Her blue eyes stared unfocused at the shadows covering her body from within her cocoon, the faintest hint of light managing to sneak its way in, just like a certain tealette into her brain. 

‘Why do my thoughts always drift to Miku?’ Resting her forehead against her knees, bone pressing uncomfortably against bone, Luka wrapped her arms around her legs as a delightful warmth began spreading in her chest as images of the pop idol continued to dance in her mind, a small smile starting to curl on her lips as she thought about the exuberant teal-haired girl.

Ever since her unexpected meeting with the world-famous idol, a fact she had been blissfully ignorant of at the time, the pink-haired girl could truly say her life had only gotten better. Whenever Miku was around, whether it be talking or doing nothing at all, Luka felt happy. It was a sensation she thought she had lost a long time ago.

Simple things like sending each other messages on Line made the pinkette’s heart flutter in the most delightful manner, small giggles bubbling up in her chest as the twin-tailed girl regaled her with her daily exploits, Miku so far removed from the stuck-up, self-centered celebrity one would expect, always making sure to check up on her and ask about her day. A single word from Miku would brighten her whole day, making everything feel much more bearable. It was like life was finally giving her a break from her mental torment when she was around.

Being around Miku, hearing her voice, feeling her touch, it all made Luka feel warm inside like nothing could hurt her. Miku was always there to make her feel better, with an encouraging word or simply by listening, a comforting hug never far behind. Always checking up on her when her thoughts became too much, speaking softly to her through the phone, silent tears rolling down her cheeks as she lay paralyzed in bed, the fears and worries screaming in her head growing quieter and quieter until they disappeared back into hiding. Luka knew she would be ok once they came back, they always come back, because she knew she wasn’t alone.

Miku made her feel safe. She was sweet and caring, if not a bit of a goofball, always managing to find a new way to surprise the pink-haired girl with just how amazing she could be. Simple things like remembering her favorite food, always making sure she was doing ok, all the way to staying attentive to her fears and mental collapses. She was a ball of never-ending sunshine and cheer.

As Luka continued to think about the twin-tailed girl, of how important she was to her, her thoughts ended up drifting to how incredibly pretty and gorgeous she was. The social recluse had seen many celebrities before, the news practically inundated non-stop with the newest stars, but never one as effortlessly gorgeous as Miku.

The pink-haired girl's thoughts continued to wander as she stared absently at nothing, a small smile curling on her lips as she remembered the feeling of being in the twin-tailed girl's arms, her small frame pressed comfortably into her side. Luka squeezing her legs a little tighter, a small, pleasant shiver rolling through her body as she recalled the warm feeling stirring in her heart when she was being held by Miku. She felt safe and warm like she had never experienced before.

Luka would often find herself speechless, her sapphire eyes glued to the young idol, as the sun reflected beautifully off of her immaculate skin, bathing her in a halo of light, like an angel fallen to earth. Her eyes would often end up drifting to the idol's lips as she talked, the way she would nibble on it while in deep thought, how it would quirk up slightly at one side when she was about to laugh. How soft they looked.

Blue eyes widening in shock, a blazing blush flushing her cheeks a dark crimson, Luka’s heart began pounding painfully in her chest, her breathing becoming laborious as the thoughts she just had registered in her head. Letting go of her legs, the warmth provided from her own skin slowly fading away, the pink-haired girl clutched painfully at her head, fingernails digging roughly into her scalp as her mind screamed furiously at her.

That was why. She knew now why she kept thinking about the teal-haired idol. Why her thoughts seemed to always wander back to her, would occupy every waking moment, the pinkette wishing constantly to be by her side. 

She had a big, irrevocable crush on Miku.

‘No..nononono.’ Short, raspy breaths rattled from between clenched teeth, her chest burning painfully as her stomach bottomed out, the revelation of her romantic interest in the kind-hearted girl sending her thoughts into a downward spiral. Falling to her side with a soft thump, the plush mattress blanketing her haphazardly drop, Luka pulled her legs up as she curled up into fetal position, her blue eyes staring forward in shock.

This wasn't right! She can't be falling in love with her, she just can't! She can't afford to mess this up. It's the only good thing she has in her life right now. What if she messes it up? What if she acts weird in front of her, more than she already does? It could scare her away, horrify her, make Miku look at her like everyone else does. With barely restrained disgust and revulsion.

Feeling the familiar hole open up beneath her, her mind a venomous snake poised to strike, Luka forced her eyes shut tightly, praying, hoping to escape to the realm of sleep, where her thoughts could not find her. A momentary respite from her pain and mistakes.  
\------  
The sun casting an orange glow over her room was the first thing Luka noticed as she awoke from her forced slumber, an irritating pressure in the back of her head causing her to wince in pain, the unexpected nap making her feel lethargic and fatigued. But, despite the heavy feeling in her bones, her mind did not give her a moment's rest, her thoughts immediately returning to the teal-haired object of her affection.

What had she hoped would happen? That her mind would just once give her some peace? That she would be allowed to live one moment without knowing what kind of failure she was? She couldn't even make a new friend without constantly messing it up, always having to overcomplicate it, to take something good in her life and taint it.

Reaching over the side of her bed, Luka picked up her phone, her fingers momentarily fumbling with the device, craving for any kind of distraction from her torturous mind, to lose herself to hours of mindless entertainment. Pressing the button at the side of her phone, the display lighting up with blinding luminescence, Luka felt her heart freeze dead in her chest, her blue eyes wide with horror.

Notifications, several of them, clogged her usually bare home screen, one name, one painfully familiar name, repeating over and over like a knife being stabbed over and over into her heart. 

Miku, her name displayed prominently over every notification, had tried to contact her multiple times during her impromptu nap, the timestamps getting more and more frequent as time went by. Punching in her password with trembling fingers, her breath caught painfully in her throat as she read the first of many messages, tears pricking painfully in the corner of her eyes as she went through them one by one, a small part of her heart being chipped away after each one.

"Hiiii Luka-chan!!! Work ended early today(because I killed it, as usual)! Want to hang out?!?!"

"I'm back home and taking a quick shower. Let me know if you're up to hanging out!"

"Luka-chan? Are you ok?"

"Is everything alright?"

Every word, every message, broke Luka’s heart more and more, picturing the tealette’s distress as she waited for her reply, one that would never come. All because she needed to escape reality, to hide away within her dreamless sleep. Because the thought of confronting her problems was too much to bear. Because she was a hopeless coward.

Because she couldn’t even handle a simple crush!

As she read through each message, Luka felt her stomach bottom out when she noticed the notification for a missed call, the little icon for her voicemail tauntingly blinking in the corner of her screen. Like a specter preparing to provide her with more heartache and pain. Pressing the notification window, the call menu instantly popping up, Luka listened to the automated message as the hole in her stomach grew and grew, threatening to swallow her up and drown her in her misery.

“Luka-chan?” Luka let out a choked sob when Miku’s voice came through her receiver, the worried, almost sad, tone causing pained tears to start falling from her eyes. She sounded so scared, almost frantic, the sound of her pacing footsteps echoing faintly in the background. It was so different from her usually chipper and upbeat demeanor, so far removed from the happy, fun-loving idol she came to know over the last couple of weeks. And it was all her fault 

“I just wanted to check up on you. You didn’t respond and I know sometimes things are hard for you, but I just couldn’t help but worry. It’s not like you to not respond at all. It scared me a little.”

Clenching her eyes shut, her fist clenching the bedsheet tightly until her knuckles turned white, Luka felt hot tears roll down her cheeks, the pinkette wanting nothing more than to scream out in despair, to curse her very existence for hurting such a sweet and wonderful girl. Luka felt like shutting down, to just lay down and let her emotions and bad thoughts drown her until everything went numb, but the message went on, Miku’s voice speaking up once more.

“I hope you’re ok Luka-chan. Please, please don’t feel bad about this. I just want to make sure you’re ok and that you are taking care of yourself. There is no reason for you to feel bad about this, ok? I’m always here for you, you know that. Call me or send me a mail or whatever when you can, ok? Anytime you want. Ok..umm…bye, Luka-chan. I’ll be here.”

As the voicemail came to an end, the robotic voice of the menu obediently running through its pre-programmed message, Luka, with tears still rolling down her cheeks, couldn't help but smile. The young idol was always so sweet, so unflinchingly caring, reaching out to her with nothing but kindness and understanding. A glowing light within the murky depths of her mind, always there to guide her to safety.

How could she have not fallen in love with her?

Swiping back to her Line app, Luka began typing out a response message to the twin-tailed beauty, apologizing profusely for her mistake, her fingers suddenly coming to a stop, hovering over the next letter. Biting her lip, her mind at war with itself, Luka quickly deleted what she had written before tapping on Miku's icon and pressing the call button before she had a chance to back out.

Lifting the phone to her ear, her heart beating nervously in her chest, Luka felt a small shiver of fear course through her as the first ring echoed in her ear. What was she going to say? What could she possibly say that wouldn’t make the idol worry even more? There was no way she could just tell her that realizing her feelings for Miku caused her to fall into such an emotional spiral that she escaped to the realm of the unconscious for safety.

"Hello?! Luka-chan?!?" Luka’s blue eye’s widened in surprise when the second ring never came, replaced by the frantic, but no less lovely, sound of Miku’s voice. She knew the tealette was worried about her, the messages and voicemail clearly showing that, but she didn’t expect her to answer so quickly. 

“Are you ok?” Miku’s question was nothing surprising, her frantic tone, a lilt of worry to be heard in her voice, making it clear what she was going to ask, but Luka couldn’t help but flinch slightly from the question. No. No, she wasn’t and she wasn’t sure if she ever will be. Should she really burden her with more?

Taking a shuddering breath, the hand holding her phone trembling within her grip, Luka pulled at whatever vestiges of courage she still held within herself as her fingers curled tightly around her bedsheet. 

“I’m ok. I’m so, so, sorry I missed your message.” While not the whole truth, the pink-haired girl not prepared to deal with that problem quite yet, she was still trying to reach out, to apologize for what she had done. 

“Oh, Luka. It’s fine. I’m just glad you are ok.” Hearing the sigh of relief coming from the pop idol made Luka’s stomach churn, a deep, angry frown pulling at her lips as she subconsciously tightened her grip on her phone. This was wrong. All of it was wrong!

“It’s not ok.” Whispering angrily, her eyes clenched tightly in frustration, Luka shook her head furiously, causing a couple of remaining tear droplets to fall. She couldn’t allow this to continue. It wasn’t right. Miku didn’t deserve any of this. 

“This isn’t fair to you! It’s unfair how you have to always worry and fret over me, making sure I don’t freak out or fall into a depressive state. You always have to cater to my stupid fears and worries, like the damn child I am. You do all of this, while I do nothing, NOTHING, for you! It’s not right! I don’t want to keep hurting you!”

Panting heavily, her whole body trembling as the surge of adrenaline coursing through her body slowly subsided, hot tears of rage and shame running down her cheeks. She didn’t want to become a burden to another person, not again. She couldn’t bear to see the hurt in their eyes whenever they looked at her, how tired and exhausted they were from having to deal with her, their lives put on hold due to her own inability to fix herself. 

“You make it sound like doing those things for you are a bad thing, that you are an inconvenience.”

A soft gasp passed Luka’s lips, her blue eyes flying open, shocked by what the twin-tailed girl had said. She thought she would get angry, sad, that she would see that what Luka had said was right. That she would leave her as everyone else had. But she was denying her, challenging what she had said with a soft and caring tone, the barest hint of steel in her voice to drive home the sincerity in her words.

Again Miku had left her speechless.

“Luka-chan. You are my friend. Being together with you is the most fun I could ever have, no matter what we do. Just being around you makes me happy.”  
Luka’s heart started beating like wild within her chest as Miku continued to speak, a faint blush warming her cheeks as a small spark of joy spread through her chest. How? How can she say something like that? This wasn’t how it goes. Where was the rejection? Where was the pain?

“It’s not a chore or a burden to care for you, Luka-chan. I want to make you feel comfortable. I want you to be happy. Everything I do, every moment we spend together, is because I want to.”

Tears spilled forth from Luka’s eyes once more, heavy sobs wracking her body as she slowly fell forward, her forehead pressing against her pillow as loud cries spilled forth from her mouth. This time they weren’t of sadness or pain, but of unfathomable happiness.

How? How could she have found someone so wonderful?

“Everything is ok, Luka-chan.” Miku gently whispered comforting words to her, patiently listening as Luka sobbed, allowing Luka to let out all of her built-up grief and sadness. “You’re ok.”

Luka’s mouth hung open in a silent cry, her chest heaving with pained breaths as sobs continued to spill forth, the pinkette unable to get any words out. She wanted to thank her, to tell just how important what she had said was to her. How special she was to her, that Miku’s words meant the world to her. That she loved her with everything she had.

But, through the tears, all Luka managed to get out was a simple:

“Thank you.”

On the other end of the line, dressed in a fluffy pair of pajamas with her hair done up in an intricate pair of buns, Miku felt a small smile curl on her lips at the meek, but no less meaningful thanks from her pink-haired friend. 

“It’s nothing to thank me for.”

Shaking her head desperately, pink hair fluttering wildly, Luka couldn’t let Miku just brush this off. This wasn’t nothing. Not to her. It was so much more.

“It...It’s every-everything to me.” 

Smiling brightly, Miku cooed soft words of comfort and reassurance to the distressed girl, until her tears subsided and Luka could speak normally again. The two of them continued talking until late into the night, the setting sun slowly dropping below the horizon, casting the world with gentle darkness, the soft glitter of stars dotting the blackened sky. 

Miku excitedly regaled her pink-haired friend with her promo shoot for a new set of commercial flyers for the leading convenience store chain in the country, her subtle bragging causing the social recluse to softly giggle to herself, simply enjoying her time talking to the twin-tailed idol. As the night wore on and the hours ticked away, Miku’s voice started growing softer and softer, her words becoming an unintelligible mess of murmurs and sleepy sighs until she fell completely silent, the only thing to be heard was her soft breathing.

As Luka listened to the idols gentle snoring, the rustling of her sheets echoing lightly in her ears, the pinkette smiled softly as she listened to the twin-tailed girls light breathing for a couple of seconds, taking comfort in the fact that she was there, that she was comfortable and content. 

“Goodnight…Miku-chan.” Whispering quietly to the sleeping idol, Miku letting out a soft, contented grumble, Luka pressed the bright red ‘end call’ button, a loud beep signaling the end of her connection with the twin-tailed girl on the other end. Looking at the smiling picture of Miku in her icon, warmth and joy gently brewing within her chest, Luka slowly crawled under her covers, resting her head softly upon her pillow as she let her eyes drift close, to return to the realm of sleep once more.

This time with a smile curling happily on her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little understanding goes a long way.
> 
> A rough chapter for Luka, whose revelation of her feelings for Miku leads to more fear and pain than the usual joy and happiness it should give. Luckily Miku is always there to make her feel better and to let her know that things will be ok.


	7. The Invitation

The afternoon sun, its familiar summer warmth burning oppressively down upon the city, was hanging high in the sky when Miku finally arrived at the fairly nondescript two-story home sitting on a street of countless copies, a cool breeze helping to stifle the otherwise unbearable heat. Skipping up to the front gate, her eyes briefly falling upon the plate adorning the side, the name Megurine emblazoned proudly upon its metallic surface, the young idol pushed the doorbell without a hint of hesitation, playfully rocking back and forth on her heels as she patiently waited for the homeowner's response.

“Hello?”

A voice, a little more weathered and aged but still unmistakably familiar to Luka’s, drifted from the speaker box installed above the doorbell, the light static crackling from the device partially distorting the owner's words. It had to be Luka’s mother.

“Sorry for bothering you but I was hoping to visit Luka.” Pulling off the sweetest and most respectful voice in her arsenal, one she had mastered from years of meeting with rabid fans and stuffy record executives respectively, Miku politely spoke into the receiver, unable to stifle the genuine smile curling on her lightly glossed lips. She was finally going to meet the pink-haired girl's family and, if she’s lucky, will even get to see her home. 

The pop idol couldn’t help but be a little curious about her new friend's home life, Miku having to admit that her mind would occasionally drift toward how the pinkette lived and what her mother was like. The only glimpses she ever got of Luka’s home was from brief glimpses she would catch during their infrequent video calls, the pinkette often too shy to agree to them, only ever relenting after being needled by Miku for several minutes on end. 

“Oh…Luka?…yes, one moment.” Quirking a delicate eyebrow at the odd response, a hint of disbelief evident behind the crackling static, Miku had no time to question the woman’s words as the sound of the front door swinging open echoed in her ears, the twin-tailed girl tentatively opening the front gate to approach the Megurine’s main entrance.

“How can I…help….you…” Stepping out of the doorway, dark chocolate colored eyes widening in disbelief, Luka’s mother’s words died on her lips as she stared, mouth agape, at the world-famous idol standing on her doorstep. Miku, for her part, simply smiled at the older woman’s surprised reaction, quite familiar to such reactions from others by now, the tealette mildly surprised in her own right.

Luka’s mother was practically a spitting image of her daughter. Her skin seemed a little more weathered, the faint hint of wrinkles on the corner of her eyes denoting years of joy and mirth, her complexion still very much giving her youthful glow. Her hair, much shorter than Luka’s own wild mane of flowing tresses, was pulled into a very neat bun, a few stray strands tickling her cheeks. 

It was like looking into the future.

“Hello, Miss Megurine.” Bowing respectfully to the elder Megurine, the ends of her twin-tails lightly brushing against the floor, Miku politely introduced herself to her friend's mother. The pop idol wanted to make sure to make a good first impression. “Is Luka home?”

“I…um…” Luka’s mother stumbled over her words as she tried to process the impossible situation she currently found herself in, her mouth feeling dry as her tongue twisted around itself. Hatsune Miku, world-famous pop idol, a person she had seen on the cover of magazines and taking up her TV screen, was standing on her doorstep. And, craziest of all, she was asking to see her daughter.

Her shut-in of a daughter.

“She…ahem!…” Clearing her throat with a ragged cough, one that caused Miku to jump slightly in surprise, the older Megurine pointed with a shaky finger behind herself. “She’s up in her room.”

“Luka! There’s someone here to see you!” Calling up to her daughter, her voice slightly warbled, a great deal of shock still coursing through the older woman’s system at the surreality of what she was dealing with. She wasn’t sure if having a celebrity at her doorstep or that she was here to see her daughter was the most shocking thing about her current situation. It was unbelievable either way.

The two of them stood in awkward silence as they waited for any sign from the younger girl, but Luka was completely oblivious to the events transpiring in her own home, the pinkette currently slumbering deeply in her room. A deep frown crossed the elder woman’s features as no response from her daughter came forth, her brown eyes darkening, a low, almost imperceptible growl of annoyance rumbling through her chest.

If it weren’t for Miku’s exceptional hearing, honed from years of practicing and studying music, the idol would have completely missed it. It caused her to quirk an eyebrow in confusion, unsure what had irked the elder Megurine so much, a small glimmer of worry glistening in her eyes. Was there a bigger rift between mother and daughter than she originally thought? 

‘She’s sleeping! Again! What the hell is wrong with that girl!?’ Shaking her head in dismay at her daughter’s complete lack of drive and motivation, spending all of her time holed up alone or sulking about, a hollow specter of the happy child she once knew, her mother couldn’t help but wonder where it all went wrong. She just wanted her to smile and be the girl she loved so dearly again.

Why did she have to feel this pain? To spend every day wondering if her little girl, bright smiles and joyous laughter, was lost forever. That all she will have is this reminder of how everything had all fallen apart. 

“I’m so sorry. I’ll go get her.” Huffing in annoyance, her voice terse and rigid as she tried to remain friendly and courteous to their guest, their celebrity guest mind you, Luka’s mother took a step toward the stairs, her posture stiff and aggressive. She would have to have a talk with her daughter about all of this.

“Oh, it’s ok! I’ll go get her!” Feeling the rising tension in the air, quite familiar with such moments during her many meetings with rival idols before shared talk shows, Miku quickly rushed past the agitated parent, a look of shock passing the elder woman’s features as the twin-tailed tealette ran toward the stairs. Giving the older Megurine her most disarming smile, quite aware of just how rude she was being, Miku made a mental note to provide her with a gift later. She didn’t want to ruin her reputation after all, especially with her new friend's mother.

“Oh…um…ok.”Momentarily stunned by the girls dazzling smile and how unexpectedly forward she was being, Luka’s mother absently gestured toward the general direction of her daughter's room as the twin-tailed idol disappeared from view after a short wave of acknowledgment to the older woman. “Her room will be the second door on your left!”

‘When the hell did Luka make a friend….let alone an idol?!’ Luka’s mother wondered as she stared at where the famous idol had just been mere moments ago, worried that everything she had just experienced was all just a very strange dream. Shaking her head a couple of times, Luka’s mother made her way over to the kitchen to prepare herself a cup of much-needed tea to help calm her frazzled nerves, her hands shaking slightly as she grabbed a cup from the shelf.

‘A friend…huh?’  
\-----  
“Hup-hup-hup~” With an excited spring in her step, twin-tails playfully bouncing atop her head, Miku bounced up the stairs with a playful gait, a broad grin threatening to split her face in half. She was finally here! She would finally get to see how Luka lived!

While feeling a little bad about barging into their home unannounced, Miku clearly having startled the elder Megurine with her unexpected appearance, the pop idol couldn’t help the little bubble of excitement that was building in her stomach. The tealette was a naturally curious girl, always wanting to learn or experience something new, a trait that helped her build a wide repertoire of musical styles and tastes that helped endear her to a larger demographic of fans.

But nothing has intrigued her more than the pink-haired girl with the glimmering sapphire eyes. There was an air of mystery and allure around the social recluse, a feeling that just innately emanated from the pinkette, something that drew the young idol in the very first day they met at that convenience store. She was cute, that was undeniable in Miku’s mind, but there was something more. An almost indescribable need to be around her and get to know her.

There was also a sense of longing, an overshadowing specter of loneliness and pain that seemed to follow Luka everywhere she went, a pain so deep and ingrained swallowing up the light in her eyes that made Miku want nothing more than to push it away and destroy it with her own two hands. For someone so young, with so much to look forward to, Luka bore a deep-seated pain and emptiness no man or woman in the world should ever carry throughout an entire lifetime.

Miku wanted to help alleviate that burden. To become a rock that Luka could lean on when she couldn’t go on. A non-judgemental ear to listen to all of her woes and regrets. A comforting smile and a warm hug. A person she could rely on.

A friend. That’s what Miku wanted to be more than anything.

Idly turning her head, blue eyes bright and attentive, Miku absently noted the array of pictures lining the wall as she climbed the stairs. Most of them were of gorgeous landscapes from across all of Japan, each one expertly framed and shot, the emotion and beauty of the scenery captured with a perfect eye. But those weren’t the ones that held the idol’s interest, as stunning as they might be.

It was the pictures of Luka that had caught the twin-tailed girl's eye. Miku let out the smallest squeal she could, hands clasped together as she swept over the many snapshots of Luka’s childhood, each one cuter than the last. From her playing in the sandbox as a toddler, face awash with dirt, to blushing with embarrassment at the school gates on her first day of middle school, her fingers nervously fidgeting with her skirt.

Climbing up the last set of stairs, her gaze fell upon a picture of Luka’s entire family, the trio, smiling and laughing with unbridled joy, posing before a beautiful mountain vista, each one bundled up with thick jackets and cute wool hats. The picture, so full of happiness, only brought a small frown to the pop idol’s lips. 

Seeing Luka like that, so truly happy, made the young idol lament the loss of that beautiful, joyful young girl.

Staring at the only man in the picture, the same bright grin adorning his features, Miku shot him a quick glare before taking the last couple of steps to reach the top. He wasn’t worth a second glance in her eyes, a light flush of anger staining her cheeks red as she thought of the man who had hurt her friend so irrevocably.

Casting a quick glance down the second-floor hallway, blue eyes wide with curious wonder, a bright grin pulled on Miku’s lips as she quickly scampered over to the door Luka’s mother had indicated earlier. Rapidly turning her head back and forth, twin tails whipping about with her erratic movement, the young idol made sure she had the right room before raising her hand and gently rapping her knuckles against the wooden door.

“Luka-chan! It’s me!” Announcing her presence in a sing-song tone, Miku bounced excitedly on her heels, clasping her hands playfully behind her back as she awaited her friend's reply. One second inevitably became two, the seconds slowly ticking by without a nervous ramble or a single sound of activity from Luka’s room.

“Luka-chan?” Knocking once more, a little more urgent this time, a slight bit of panic began to rise in the tealette’s chest. When no response came again, worry continuing to bubble up in her chest, Miku bit her lip, warring with herself on whether it was ok for her to invade her friend's private sanctum and let herself in. The pop idol knew she shouldn’t, Luka being a very closed off person for a reason, but in the end, her worry and care for her friend won out as she placed her hand upon the doorknob.

“Luka-chan? Are you ok?” Quietly pushing the door open, not wanting to possibly disturb or scare Luka, Miku poked her head into the pinkette’s room, an apologetic look marring her features. “Sorry for intruding.”

As Miku scanned the room for any signs of her pink-haired friend, the young idol noticed a strange absence of any kind of personal belongings or special furnishing. No pictures of cherished memories, no merchandise of her favorite anime or books of her beloved series. No flowers to add a splash of color or even haphazardly strewn clothes littering the floor. Only a small table, with a laptop sitting atop of it at her bedside, stood out in the otherwise bare and standard room.

It seemed almost…sterile. As if it had been scrubbed clean of any kind of stimulants or past memories.

Stepping a little further into the room, the pop idol stepping lightly for reasons she couldn’t even understand, Miku came to a sudden stop when Luka’s bed came into view, slapping her hands quickly over her mouth to stop herself from squealing out loud at the adorable sight she had been blessed with this day.

Luka, with her hood pulled safely over her head, was laying on her bed, her closed eyes and soft breathing indicating that the pink-haired girl was firmly in the throes of sleep. This in its own right would be a cute sight to the young idol, seeing Luka in such a relaxed state something she had never experienced before, but there was one small, beautiful, and downright adorable detail that made it picture perfect.

Luka’s sweater, during her slumber, had ridden up slightly, giving the tealette a perfect view of her skin-tight shorts and long legs, but also the greatest prize of all: Her tummy.

Dropping into a crouch, her fists clenched excitedly in front of her chest, Miku slowly slid herself over to the slumbering pinkette’s bedside, a truly ecstatic grin pulling at the corners of her mouth. It was just so cute! It lured her in, like a siren calling sailors to their demise upon the jagged rocks, practically begging her to touch it. With every gentle intake of air, the pink-haired girl's trim stomach would move ever so slightly, causing Miku to bite down roughly on her thumb to stop herself from crying out in bliss. 

She had to touch it!

Unable to hold herself back anymore, her skin practically itching with anticipation, Miku lightly booped Luka’s exposed tummy, giggling quietly at how soft her skin was and how cute it was, the pliant skin yielding gently under her probing touch. Miku had to pull at every reserve of willpower within her body to not repeatedly poke her friend's stomach, though she badly wanted to. That bellybutton was like a black hole, pulling her in with its adorableness.

Feeling a strange sensation upon her stomach, Luka was roughly pulled out of the dark empty void of her dreams and back into the world of the living, her mind feeling fuzzy and disoriented as she slowly sat up, her hood falling down to reveal her shock of messy bed hair. Grumbling cutely in annoyance, dreading another day with her thoughts, Luka let out a big yawn while scratching the top of her head, her blue eyes staring vacantly into nothing, completely unaware of the guest currently watching her movements with a playful glint in her eye and a mile-wide grin on her face.

Popping back into an upright position, something that went completely unnoticed by the drowsy pinkette, Miku cheerfully waved at her sleepy friend, giggling merrily at how cute she was. What a darling sight she has witnessed this day.

Turning to stare at the twin-tailed girl in a daze, Luka blinked a couple of times, the fog clouding her mind slowly dispersing as realization began dawning on the pinkette. Miku. Miku was here. In her room. Miku, is in her room, right now, and saw her while she was sleeping!

“Morning cutie!” Miku greeted her friend cheerfully, hand raised excitedly into the air as she giggled merrily, her eyes closed in amusement, completely missing the look of mortified embarrassment falling over Luka’s face, a crimson blush flushing the pink-haired girl’s face with unbearable heat.

“Ah! Nononono!” Scrambling back fearfully with a terrified shriek, one that caused Miku’s giggles to immediately fall silent as she watched her friend push herself away from the twin-tailed idol, her movement only stopped by the wall behind her. Pressing herself flush against the solid concrete, her back aching as it dug painfully into her skin, Luka slapped her hands over her ears as she pressed her forehead against her knees, trying to hide away from the horrible reality she just awoke to.

Why was she here?! How did she get in here!?! Mom, she must have talked to mom! No, no! She saw me! She saw my room! I must look awful! I haven’t cleaned in ages it must be a horrible mess! No! No! She won’t want to be seen with me anymore! It's ruined! I ruined everything! There’s no way she still wants to be friends after seeing you like this! You’re a mess! A worthless mess!!!

Noticing what was happening, having witnessed a couple of Luka’s spirals and panic attacks before, Miku reacted quickly but carefully, slowly moving over to her friend's bedside, her hands raised in a calming gesture.

“Hey, it’s ok. Everything is ok.” Miku spoke softly and gently, her voice causing Luka to lift her head to stare at the approaching idol, a look of fear glinting within her sapphire gaze. “It’s my fault for coming in uninvited. I’m sorry.”

Shaking her head slightly at the tealette’s words, unable to believe what her friend was saying, Luka felt her lungs burn as she took rapid breaths, tears stinging the corner of her eyes as she watched Miku move closer toward her.

“There’s nothing to worry about, ok?” Gently taking a seat on the edge of the bed, her eyes never straying from her suffering friend, her voice soft and reassuring, Miku tried to make her movements as plain and obvious as possible for Luka to follow, to keep from having the pink-haired girl feel closed in or trapped. Sidling up to the panicking girl's side, pressing her back lightly against the wall, Miku made sure to give Luka a couple of seconds to get used to her presence before gently placing her hand on hers.

They just sat there for several minutes, neither saying a single word as Luka’s breathing began to slow down, the tenseness in her body gradually dissipating under Miku’s gentle touch. Leaning forward a bit, Miku placed her other hand on the pink-haired girl's shoulder, keeping it there for a moment, checking to make sure Luka was ok with it before gently wrapping her arms around her and pulling her into a loving hug.

“We’re ok.” Miku whispered softly before gently nuzzling her nose against Luka’s forehead, pink strands lightly tickling her skin as she gave her a small squeeze, content to hold her as long as she needed. She had all the time in the world to wait. She was her friend after all.

It took several more minutes until Luka was finally able to calm down, a small bit of tenseness still residing in her chest as she lightly hiccuped, causing Miku to giggle softly, the soft reverberating of her laughter helping to ease her worried mind. Burying her face into the smaller girl's shoulder, the twin-tailed girl giving her another quick comforting squeeze, Luka tried to hide the trail of tears that were rolling down her cheeks. Tears of relief.

She wasn’t gone. She was here. They were ok.

Hugging the pink-haired girl a little bit longer, partially to make sure she was ok and for her own enjoyment of being so close to her, Miku slowly began pulling away from Luka. She made sure to do so with deliberate and plain movements, not wanting Luka to think she was trying to run away or leave her, keeping a hand on her upper arm as a sign that she was not going anywhere. That she was here to stay.

Looking into Luka’s sapphire orbs, still glistening with tears, Miku gave her a soft smile, one the pink-haired girl returned with a weak one of her own.

“Y’know, you’re very cute after just waking up.” Miku giggled with a playful smile pulling on her lips as she gently ruffled the taller girl's bedhead, trying to show her that everything was alright and that it was nothing to be ashamed or worried about. 

“Wish I looked that good when I woke up. Let me tell you, drooling into your own hair is a mess you don’t want to deal with before your first coffee.” Breaking out into a fit of giggles, tiny shoulders shaking as she pictured herself after first waking up, Miku continued to lightly pet Luka’s head, completely unaware that she was still doing it.

Luka for her part simply remained silent, her blue eyes shyly staring downward as a soft blush covered her cheeks from the pop idols compliments, the pink-haired girl secretly enjoying the feeling of Miku petting her. It was…calming. It was a feeling she hadn’t felt in ages, remembering how her father used to roughly ruffle her hair, with a wide grin and booming laugh, greatly enjoying his daughter's angry cries of protest.

This was different though. This was nice, soft, comforting. Almost…loving.

She never wanted it to end.

“Oh!” Clapping her hands loudly together, Luka pouting slightly, instantly missing the feeling of being pet, Miku excitedly began bouncing up and down. “Do you have a comb?! I’ve been wanting to brush your hair for ages! It’s simply gorgeous!”

Nodding dumbly in response, her gaze stuck upon the pop idols glowing visage, Luka quietly excused herself, saying she’ll go grab it, stumbling slightly toward the door as Miku squealed in excitement behind her. Fumbling with the handle for a second, praying that the twin-tailed girl didn’t notice, Luka walked down the empty hallway and over to the bathroom with uneven steps. Entering the bathroom, the cool tile floor sending a chill down her spine, Luka slowly closed the door behind her before falling backward, leaning heavily against its wooden surface.

Pressing her hand over her chest, Luka could feel her heart beat wildly within her breast, the pink-haired girl unsure if the pounding could be heard by just herself or if it was reverberating as loudly in the enclosed room as it was in her ears. Hands flying up to her cheeks, a practical inferno flushing her cheeks, the heat almost burning her skin, Luka stared ahead with a faraway look in her eyes.

She was embarrassed, practically mortified, beyond belief at having been seen in such a state, especially by Miku, her newest friend and, reluctant as she was to admit it, her crush. Being caught in such a vulnerable moment, to have someone witness her breakdown so closely, to be treated so kindly with sweet words and a loving touch. It had all been too much for her already frazzled mind to take.

But, despite the awkwardness and shame she had endured mere moments ago, Luka couldn’t help but feel…

Happy.  
\------  
“Ahhh! Sooo goooood!” Miku moaned with delight as she popped another piping hot piece of Takoyaki into her eagerly waiting mouth, the pop idol letting out an exaggerated ‘aaaaa’ before chomping down upon the fried treat. Luka simply nodded her head, still amazed at the idol's seemingly bottomless stomach, sure Miku would have already had her fill after the day they’d had.

After meticulously brushing Luka’s hair, a task the twin-tailed girl seemed to relish greatly based off of the many happy chirps and playful giggles that emanated from her during her treatment, Miku had jumped up and suggested the pair take a walk together. Luka was reluctant at first, but seeing the twinkle in the teal-haired girl's eyes, the pinkette couldn’t help but agree, barely having time to grab her phone before being pulled out of her home at supersonic speed.

While talking to Miku, the whole world falling away as she attentively listened to every word spilling forth from the young idol’s mouth, Luka had been too distracted with how much fun she was having to notice just how far they had wandered out of her usual safe radius. It wasn’t until the sweet scent of delectably prepared food reached both their noses that they noticed just where they had ended up.

“Ah! Street vendors! Luka-chan let’s go try them!” Gripping the pink-haired girl's sleeve tightly, practically dragging her down the street as she bounced with excitement, Miku began rushing from stall to stall, Luka swearing she could see small bits of drool roll down the side of the pop idols chin. As they bounced from vendor to vendor, a practical cornucopia of delicious foods on display, Luka was stunned at how Miku bought pretty much one of everything, devouring each piece with relentless vigor before jumping to the next one.

As Luka absently nibbled on her piece of melon bread, blue eyes watching the pop idol order her seventh meal, the pink-haired girl had to wonder just where all of that food was going, especially considering just how small Miku was.

The mysteries of a Pop Idol sure were vast.

With the sun hanging low in the sky, the cool wind blowing through the neighborhood signaling the beginning of the evening, the duo arrived back where they had started. At Luka’s front door.

Turning to bid farewell to the twin-tailed idol, Luka was surprised to find herself being pulled into a hug by Miku, her arms wrapping tightly around the taller girl's neck. Hesitating slightly, momentarily stunned by the unexpected gesture, Luka slowly wrapped her arms around Miku’s slim waist, her whole body shaking as she returned the young idol’s hug.

“Mmm~ goodbye Luka-chan.” Squeezing the taller girl tight, relishing the feeling of being hugged back for the first time by the pinkette, Miku slowly pulled away, playfully poking Luka’s cheek before rushing down the street, calling back with a wave farewell. “I’ll text you later kay!”

Luka stood outside her door, quietly watching Miku’s figure disappear into the distance with a small smile on her lips before turning to enter her home, a gentle lightness replacing the heavy weight that would sit uncomfortably in her chest on most days. It was a feeling she only really got from the twin-tailed girl. A sense of peace and joy. Something to be treasured.

Slipping off her shoes, dropping her keys into the little basket by the door, Luka let out a small gasp of surprise and fear as she lifted her head, the stern countenance of her mother staring back at her from across the hall. Standing near the stairs, blocking her only means of escape, her arms folded angrily in front of her chest, Luka’s mother shot her a withering stare.

Panic began welling up in Luka’s chest as she slowly walked up to her mother, eyes lowering to the floor beneath her steely gaze, a small tremble running through her body. She knew things couldn’t stay good for long, her whole life having proven that countless times over. Of course, her mom would have questions. It’s not often someone comes to see her and especially not a world-famous celebrity.

“Why did you not tell me about Miss Hatsune? Or how you are, suddenly, friends with a famous pop star?” She didn’t shout, she didn’t scream, but the words still struck Luka as strongly as a slap to the face, the accusation clear in her mother's tone as her eyes bored deep holes into her. Under her probing gaze, all Luka could do was stutter out a fractured and mumbling recounting of her first meeting with the famous pop idol, her voice falling lower and lower as she drew further into herself.

“Huh…that seems quite…lucky.” Eyeing her daughter warily, clearly not fully buying the wild tale she was just told, Luka's mother took a couple of steps toward the living room, leaving the stairs open for the younger Megurine to use. “Well, you better be careful.”

Eyes widening in surprise, her head lifting from the ground to stare at her mother in shock, Luka felt a spark of joy resonating within her chest. She’s….she’s worried about me? She…cares? It warmed the younger girl's heart to know her mother was still concerned about her well being, the smallest hint of a smile pulling on the corner of her lips. Could…could things get better between them?

“She’s a very busy girl so I don’t want you to be a bother to Miss Hatsune, ok?”

It was like being thrown into the arctic water without any clothes on, an ice-cold sensation settling into her stomach like a stone, piercing and stabbing her insides like icicles. The former warmth she had felt, that brief flicker of hope, was extinguished like a dying flame during a rainstorm.

Things will never be the same.

“Yes.” Tired. Worn. Broken. Luka, her voice barely above a whisper, cracked and monotone, responded to her mother before trudging to the stairs with a sluggish gait, her arms hanging limply at her sides as she began climbing up the steps. “I’m going to my room.”

Turning to look at her daughter, a look of surprise and deep concern crossing her features as she watched Luka disappear up the stairs, her mouth hanging open as if she wanted to say something in return but was struck mute by the tone in her daughter's voice. It somehow sounded even emptier than before, a stark contrast to how Luka sounded when talking to Miku earlier as they headed out the door, her daughter actually sounding like her old self for just the briefest of moments.

All of that seemed to have just disappeared without a trace.

Stepping into her room, her whole body feeling heavy, every footstep threatening to crush her under the unbearable weight resting on her shoulders, Luka haphazardly dropped to the floor with a dull thud, her phone falling from her grip as she collided roughly with the ground. 

No tears fell as she stared at the bare walls of her room, her cheek pressed against the cold, unforgiving ground, all energy sapped from her body, the pink-haired girl no longer having the willpower to move. What was the point? Everything felt empty. Cold. Is this how things will always be? An endless cycle of disappointment and hurt? She shouldn’t be surprised really. It was what she deserved after all.

As her thoughts continued to spiral, the familiar pull to escape gripping her heart, a light buzzing at her fingertips caught her attention, Luka weakly grabbing at her phone before lifting the device up to her listless gaze. A single message from Miku appeared on her screen, the smallest hint of light appearing within her sapphire eyes as she read the words over and over again.

“Did you want to come to my place for a sleepover!?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can hurt turn to comfort?
> 
> Another rough time for Luka, despite how well things started out(panic attack notwithstanding), the slightest bit of hope returning at the end from Miku once more. This chapter illustrated more just how strained Luka’s relationship with her mother is and how much she has withdrawn from the world. Even with Miku’s great efforts, the job will not be an easy one to help heal our pink-haired recluse. But damn if she isn’t determined to try!
> 
> I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday, even with the circumstances we are currently living in, and that you are all doing well and staying healthy. In this new year, I will continue to bring you all more of this story! Have a wonderful day and I love you all!


	8. Sleepovers and Songs

Panic…was too lacking a word to truly describe what Luka was feeling in this very moment.

Ever since Miku’s invitation to come to her apartment for a sleepover, which she had foolishly said yes to, Luka had slowly but surely fallen into a sinking hole of pure anxiety-induced freak-outs. As the day drew closer and closer, the agreed-upon date looming ever-present above the pinkette’s head, Luka could feel her heart rate accelerate by several beats day by day, a constant pressure building in her mind that was ready to crack at any moment.

At first, the invitation had lit a spark of warmth in the icy cold depths of despair her mother's words had instilled in her, the simple message managing to return life to the dull, numbing sensation that had overtaken her whole body. Lying there on the cold, unforgiving ground, shadowed sapphire eyes lit up by the light of her phone screen, Luka had mulled over Miku’s question for almost an hour.

‘Did you want to come to my place for a sleepover!?’

To many, it would seem like such a simple, innocent question. One friend asking another for a sleepover at their place. Standard for anyone that even had the most fleeting of friendships. And yet, that one sentence had flipped Luka’s life on its head, something the young pop idol seemed to be scarily adept at doing on a consistent basis. The thought of going to her place, to leave the comforting confines of her home, of her room, to spend the night in the home of the woman she had fallen for made Luka’s mind scream at her to reject it, to keep herself safe. Tapping on the reply button, fingers soundlessly ghosting over the virtual keyboard, Luka sent her response.

‘I would like that.’

She couldn’t say no. She couldn’t let this chance to get closer to Miku pass her by. She didn’t want to be scared anymore. She didn’t want to be alone anymore. She was scared, practically terrified of what could happen, what she might do to ruin everything, but something deep within her told her to fight, to take this chance, and to never let it go.

To bet everything on her chance for happiness.

But, as the days passed and the weight of what she agreed to slowly settle in, Luka felt terror strike her heart as she stared at her unkempt and undernourished reflection in the mirror. She was going to be seen like this! She’s going to be with Miku the entire time! There would be nowhere for her to hide, to run to when things got too hard! She would be completely and utterly exposed! She wasn’t ready! She was never going to be ready!

And now…now it was too late to back out. The fateful day had finally arrived and Luka didn’t feel any more confident, her hands shaking slightly as she made some last-minute adjustments to her outfit, the blood pumping loudly in her ears. Excitement and dread coexisted inside her head, like a frightful cocktail of adrenaline that left her nerves rattled and frayed, drawn taught enough to tear at a moment's notice.

So why couldn’t she stop smiling?

Staring at her reflection, fingers nervously fiddling with her hair, the usually unkempt mane of pink pulled into a messy ponytail, the social recluse could feel a spark of giddiness light up her soul, forcing the corners of her mouth up into a joyful smile. Despite trying to dress up for Miku, a long, billowy skirt now adorning her lower half, her trusty pair of tights worn underneath, Luka couldn’t help but wear her beloved sweater overtop a simple black t-shirt. It helped keep her calm, its warmth reminding her that, if nothing else, she will always have it to keep her safe.

Fiddling with the zipper, sapphire eyes roaming over her reflection, Luka had to admit that this was the best it was going to get, the pinkette heaving a heavy sigh before rifling in her pocket for her phone. Clicking the button on its side, the home screen lighting up, Luka checked the time for what had to be the twelfth time this morning, the pinkette swallowing nervously as her eyes roamed over the illuminated numbers.

8:52am. 

They had agreed to meet up at the regular convenience store at 9, the pair planning on heading over to Miku’s place from there. It was about time for her to head out. Zipping her sweater up tight, heart beating wildly in her chest, the pink-haired girl picked up the small shoulder bag resting next to her bed, her meager belongings jostling noisily within as she made her way out of her room and down the stairs. 

Glancing nervously into the living room for any sign of her mother, sapphire eyes on high alert, Luka felt her shoulders relax slightly when she found it completely empty. She had already left for work, just as Luka had hoped. She didn’t want to deal with any possible confrontation today that could possibly break her already fragile state of mind.

The pair had not spoken since her mother's unintentionally cruel words, Luka only ever leaving her room at 1 in the morning, long after the older Megurine had gone to sleep, to grab something small to eat. They had been like perfect strangers throughout all of last week, not a single word being shared between them, her mother only checking in on her once during this time, her tired voice growing hard after her daughter's pained silence, her angry footsteps letting Luka know she would not be hearing from her again for several days.

Which worked out perfectly for her now as she quickly slipped on a simple pair of white sneakers, still pristine from lack of use, and hurriedly rushed out the front door, keys rattling noisily in her pocket. Stepping out into the bright morning sun, a cool breeze ruffling the edges of her skirt, Luka tried to swallow the painful lump that was sitting in her throat as she made the familiar trek toward that fateful convenience store.

The second she crested that godforsaken hill, a moment of respite practically at her fingertips, the pinkette sucking in a lungful of precious air, Luka was immediately pulled into a bone-crushing hug, the precious oxygen she had acquired only seconds earlier escaping her just as quickly as it arrived.

“Luka-chan!”

Luka could feel a familiar heat burn at the tips of her ears, her cheeks flushing a deep red as a comforting weight pressed into her chest, small but strong arms wrapping tightly around her midsection, causing a delightful flutter to dance in her chest. Slowly lowering her gaze, afraid that any sudden movement will make her disappear, Luka’s sapphire orbs beheld a flowing river of gorgeous teal as Miku pressed her cheek affectionately into the taller girls chest, little wisps of her hair tickling the exposed skin of the pinkette’s collarbone, the smaller girl’s little joyful exclamations rumbling delightfully through her body.

And just like that, Luka was reminded again of just how deeply she had fallen for this girl.

Slowly lifting her arms, a small, nervous tremor running through her hands, Luka was prepared to return the tealette's hug when she suddenly felt the tight grip across her waist disappear as Miku separated from her with a small bounce and a playful twirl. Slamming her arms reflexively back to her sides, embarrassed shame washed over Luka’s body in waves as she shyly averted her gaze from the twirling pop idol, desperately hoping Miku hadn’t witnessed any of what just happened.

“Good morning, Luka-chan!” Gracing the pinkette with a beaming smile and joyful shout, hand raised playfully in an enthusiastic greeting, Miku, by sheer luck, missed Luka’s brief moment of embarrassment, too excited about seeing her friend and the upcoming sleepover to pay attention to the pink-haired girl's actions. She was just too happy!

“G-good morning, M-Miku-chan.” Shyly returning her friend's greeting, the pinkette chastising herself for how pitiful she sounded, Luka returned the pop idol’s smile with a tiny one of her own as the heat on her cheeks slowly simmered down. Placing her hand upon her chest, feeling the erratic beating of her heart slowly taper off, Luka took a deep breath to try and calm down when she suddenly felt a tight grip on her wrist.

Eyes shooting open in surprise, heat returning to her cheeks once more, Luka had no time to react when she was suddenly yanked forward by the pop idol’s surprisingly strong grip, Miku practically dragging the taller girl into the cool interior of the convenience store. Fumbling with her bag from the sudden movement, trying to keep the contents from tumbling out, Luka awkwardly stumbled behind the twin-tailed girl as Miku rushed down narrow aisles of the store, hands flying around at light speed as she quickly filled the basket dangling from her arm with various snacks and ingredients.

“What do you want, Luka-chan?” Turning to face the socially reclusive girl with a bright grin, Miku casually gestured toward the overflowing racks of different kinds of candy and snacks, the twin-tailed idol casually plopping a couple of vegetable juices into the basket as she expectantly stared at her pink-haired friend.

Caught off guard by the sudden question, the feeling of Miku’s hand wrapped around her wrist still playing in her mind, Luka shakily pointed to a bag of dried octopus. Giggling softly, Miku popped a couple of bags into her basket as well as a melon soda, remembering it being the pinkette’s favorite, before nodding to herself with a satisfied grin. Seeing that everything was in order, Miku quickly rushed over to the cash, twin tails flowing behind her like a comet trail as Luka swiftly followed after her, desperately trying to keep up with the idol’s wild energy so early in the morning.

“What’s this all for?” Luka queried as she watched the cashier ring up each item one by one, an uncomfortable knot forming in her stomach as she saw just how much the tealette was buying, the numbers on the till slowly ticking up more and more with each new product scanned.

“Just some snacks for each of us and some last-minute ingredients I forgot for dinner.” Miku replied with an embarrassed chuckle, tongue sticking out playfully from between her lips before turning back to the cashier as she fished her wallet from out of her pocket. As the total flashed on the screen, the number only made the knot in Luka’s stomach tighten more painfully, a horrible feeling of guilt starting to bear down on her shoulders as she watched the pop idol count out the necessary bills.

“Y-you didn’t have to go through all that trouble for me.” 

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Casually waving off her friend's concern with a good-natured laugh, Miku gently placed the assorted bills and coins into the collection basket, the tealette turning to face her friend with a beaming smile as the cashier dutifully deposited the money into the register. “I’m an idol. I can afford to buy a couple of snacks.”

Despite knowing her friend only meant it in a humorous way, the wide grin and sparkle in her oceanic eyes proving there was no hidden malice behind her words, what Miku said ended up hitting the pink-haired recluse like a sudden downpour. 

Miku was an idol. A world-famous idol. Adored and revered by millions. She was considered a social elite, a shining beacon amongst the populous, a true star. Someone to look up to, to aspire to be. So many people would give up everything to be in her position, to be able to talk and hang around her so freely, to be her friend.

Miku should not be seen with someone like her. 

Panic shot through her veins as she worriedly swiveled her gaze between the cashier and the sparse amount of customers occupying the store in fear, the weight of Miku’s fame bearing horrible upon her shoulders, a tense nervousness causing her muscles to seize up painfully as her eyes darted rapidly back and forth. This wasn’t right. Being here. Being with Miku. It wasn’t right! This could harm her image, her life, if anyone saw them. Saw ‘her’!

Get out! She had to get out!

“Let’s go, Luka-chan!” Ripped from her mental spiral by Miku’s voice, the pinkette absently registering the rustling of bags, Luka turned to face the twin-tailed idol, Miku smiling warmly at her as she gestured toward the exit, groceries held tightly in her fists. Nodding her head, Luka obediently followed after the tealette, her nerves feeling torn and frayed as the tension in her body refused to alleviate even after stepping out into the refreshing morning air.

Walking through the neighborhood, Miku dutifully leading the way as she happily hummed a cheery tune, a small spring in her step, Luka couldn’t share her friend's excitement as the rising panic in her body threatened to swallow her whole. Every stray movement in the corner of her eye, every person walking down the street, caused Luka’s eyes to dart about in a wild panic, flinching every time someone walked a little too close to them.

This was wrong. This could hurt Miku in so many ways if they were seen together. This could potentially ruin her image. Someone like Miku shouldn’t be around a failure like her. Miku was everything that was right with the world, a sparkling star in the vast, empty, darkness of space. All Luka could do was dim that light, dirty it with her filthy hands, pull it out of the sky, and drag it into the murky depths of her disgusting life.

They needed to get to her apartment, to safety, away from prying eyes. Luka needed to run home, to save Miku from herself, away from her filthy hands.

She needed to disappear.

“Here we are!” Blinking rapidly, Luka placed her shaking hand upon her forehead, her head feeling thick with fog as the intrusive thoughts quickly disappeared into the recesses of her mind, momentarily forgotten but never gone. Lifting her head, sapphire eyes widening in shock, Luka stared at the impressive and opulent building in stunned silence, mouth agape.

Rising high into the air, easily dwarfing the surrounding buildings, Luka could practically feel the wealth exuding from its walls, the building a gorgeous fusion of modern sensibilities and classic European flair. As Miku led her to the building's entrance, immaculately trimmed hedges lining its perimeter, Luka could feel the familiar fear push at the back of her mind as a sharply dressed attendant greeted them with a respectful bow.

Stepping into the main foyer, marble floors polished to a mirror shine, Luka truly felt like their worlds couldn’t be any further apart. It felt like stepping into some romantic film. Miku was the resplendent princess, fitting in perfectly with the magnificent surroundings, while the pinkette was just a simple commoner, wholly undeserving of even laying eyes upon such a marvelous sight.

As the two of them entered the elevator, plush red carpet adorning its exquisite interior, Miku was practically dancing as she pressed the button for her floor, Luka feeling dread well up in her chest as the doors slowly slid closed in front of her. There was no turning back now.

Watching the numbers above the door slowly tick upwards, their destination growing ever closer, Luka felt as if the walls were encroaching on her, her breathing growing shallower and more rapid the further up they traveled. Nervous anticipation and sickening fear churned painfully in her stomach, the gentle vibration running through the elevator doing nothing to ease the storm brewing in her mind, joy and worry warring hopelessly in her head.

"Luka-chan." Jolting slightly in surprise, the warm hand on her shoulder and the sudden appearance of Miku's voice cutting through the blinding fog in her mind like a piercing light, the pinkette slowly turning to face the shorter girl with wide, sapphire eyes.

"Everything is going to be ok." Gracing the pink-haired recluse with another one of her radiant smiles, the one that caused Luka's heart to flutter and fly with such delight, Miku softly reassured her fretting friend. As Miku's slender fingers, honed from years of musicianship, gently massaged the tenseness from her shoulders, Luka could feel the terror in her body slowly subside. 

Nodding nervously in response, Luka felt another jolt reverberate through her body as a loud 'ping' pierced the air, the elevator coming to a sudden halt as the pink-haired girl snapped her head forward, wild blue eyes watching in fear as the doors slowly slid open. They were almost there.

Clutching her bag tightly, knuckles turning a sickly white as Miku led her reclusive friend down a long, gorgeously decorated hallway. Expensive-looking vases adorned with colorful, radiant flowers lined the walls between apartments, their exterior, polished to a mirror shine, reflecting Luka's dread-stricken face upon its surface. As her sneakers squeaked noisily upon the beautifully patterned tile, expertly crafted designs crisscrossing across the floor, Luka could feel the disparity between her and the pop idol grow ever further apart.

Stopping before a heavy wooden door, golden numbers carefully engraved upon its ivory surface, Miku momentarily fumbled with her bags as she pulled a simple set of keys from her pocket, the small charm of her mascot dangling from the end oddly managing to calm the pinkette for a brief moment. It reminded her that above all else, Miku was still the sweet, loving girl she had befriended all that time ago.

“Well, welcome to my home.” Smiling, almost shyly, Miku pushed the door open with a grand flourish, the pop idol stepping into the apartment with hurried steps before gesturing for her pink-haired guest to enter. Taking a deep breath, heart beating rapidly in her chest, Luka awkwardly bowed before entering Miku’s apartment, the door closing behind her with a resounding note of dreaded finality.

The minute Luka entered the apartment, she felt as if she had been transported into another world, one so far removed from her own that it left her a stuttering, gawking mess. The pink-haired girl could not believe such a place truly existed, that she would be allowed to enter it, let alone be invited with open arms.

Miku’s apartment was like a palace to the recluse, sapphire orbs wide and disbelieving as she tried to take in every inch of the twin-tailed girls enormous apartment, her life of being trapped within the same four walls of her room making the pinkette’s head swim at the sheer grandeur of what she was witnessing. 

A wide open-space design with gorgeous natural lighting lit up the pristinely kept apartment, its modern decor accented beautifully by gigantic, wall-spanning windows that overlooked the city, buildings spread out for what seemed like miles like a blanket of sparkling gray. A plush, cream-colored couch sat before a staggeringly impressive entertainment unit, its size managing to dominate the entire living room with its assorted array of the latest electronics and gadgets. 

But, what really drew the pink-haired girls' attention, despite all the modern furniture and immaculately designed layout, the thing that truly caught Luka’s eye was the pearl-white grand piano placed almost reverently upon a raised portion of the apartment. It was beautiful, the sun reflecting off of its surface in a dazzling array of light. Luka couldn’t help but wonder which of Miku’s multitude of songs had been composed upon its ivory keys?

Stepping a little further into the apartment, a strange door with a glass window caught Luka’s attention next, a bevy of high-grade recording equipment visible from within, a veritable wall of instruments and speakers lining the deceptively large interior. Miku had her own recording studio within her apartment?! Everything in there would cost more than what Luka could ever hope to make in her entire lifetime!

“It’s a bit embarrassing.” Turning her wide-eyed stare to the apartment's sole other occupant, Luka gave her twin-tailed friend a questioning look, Miku bashfully scratching her cheek as she cast an embarrassed glance over where she lived. 

“I mean…having someone that isn’t part of my crew over. The apartment just feels too big for just me, you know? Most of the stuff here isn’t even mine. I just kept the furniture it came with. I just needed the space to play and make music without annoying any of my neighbors. See.”

Rapping her fist upon the wall a couple of times, a dull, heavy thud accompanying each strike, Miku demonstrated just how thick it was, the sound dying immediately after each knock. All Luka could do was nod her head dumbly as Miku suddenly bounced off toward the kitchen, the plastic bags full of groceries rustling noisily within her hands as she plopped them loudly upon the counter.

“Go ahead and get comfortable!” Miku called out as she began unloading the purchased items upon the marble countertop, her eager footsteps tapping playfully upon the ground as she rushed back and forth like a small, excited tornado.

‘How am I supposed to do that?’ Luka wondered ruefully as she awkwardly remained rooted in place at the apartment's entrance, the cold from the tile flooring slowly seeping through her socks as she continued to stare dumbfounded at her surroundings. She was at her friend's place, at Miku’s place! She was supposed to be happy, ecstatic even. This was where the woman she loved lived. She wanted to feel safe, secure.

Then why was everything so frightening and intimidating?

Sweeping her gaze over the apartment for what had to be the hundredth time, Luka noticed a series of accolades hanging on the nearby wall, the pinkette making her way over to them with slow, tentative steps. Awards of all kinds hung neatly upon the wall, ranging from small regional song contests to record-breaking sales and achievements of all kinds within the music industry, causing the pit in her stomach to widen once more.

Seeing her reflection in the glass of Miku’s platinum record, one of many lined up in a row, Luka could see just how haggard and plain she truly was in comparison to the pop idol. Upon its shiny surface, a testament to Miku’s brilliance, all Luka could see was how lowly and common she truly was.

“This was a mistake.” Luka softly whispered to herself as her thoughts slowly began to spiral, her grip upon her bag slackening as its weight became too much, the strength in her body beginning to dissipate as the icy numbness started to cover her heart. Why does it always end up like this? Why? Why?!

Forcefully ripping her gaze away from the painful sight of her own reflection, Luka’s sapphire eyes sparkled with curiosity as a series of framed pictures caught her attention, Miku’s smiling face practically calling out to her as the pinkette shuffled over to get a better look.

‘It’s…it’s Miku with her family.” In the short while they had known each other, Miku would rarely speak of her parents, the pop idol always waving it off with a cheerful smile and joyful giggle. Clearly, there was no ill-will between her and her parents, the fond gleam in her eye whenever she did speak of them proof enough of that, Luka assuming her silence was born from her not wanting to seem insensitive to her own familial woes.

Staring at the assortment of pictures, Luka could feel a small smile curl on her lips as she looked at the beaming grin on the young Miku’s face, the pure joy radiating from the young child causing the pink-haired recluses heart to glow with a gentle warmth. Moving from picture to picture, Luka was given a rare snapshots of Miku’s life as she grew up, each one perfectly chronicling how she came to be the girl she was now.

Miku, with her parents standing proudly beside her, shot the camera a couple of peace signs as she stood before a large gate with various students milling around in the background, the picture clearly taken during her middle school entrance ceremony. The next one showed the tealette with two other girls, the trio posing awkwardly with their instruments, a nervous excitement radiating off of them as they embarked upon their new musical adventure together.

‘It’s her first band.’ Luka smiled proudly as she watched the twin-tailed girl’s trajectory in life change dramatically from that one moment. The same trio, decked out in matching gear, stood upon the school's stage, the passion, and soul of their performance able to be felt even through the weathered edges of the picture. It must have surely been felt by the people in attendance as Miku and her bandmates proudly posed with their newly won trophy, a large banner signaling their triumph during a local song competition.

‘I wonder who she is.’ Luka wondered to herself as she noticed a series of pictures of Miku with an older woman with short, brown hair, the pair seeming to be very close. She seemed to be present for many important landmarks of the pop idol’s musical career, from contract signings to backstage pictures of her and the rest of the crew after a concert, the twin-tailed girl always sticking close to her side.

But, what hit the pink-haired shut in the most, were the pictures of her with her friends at school. Laughing. Smiling. Happy. So very happy. Miku’s life was a whirlwind of success and fame, of major events and time-consuming endeavors. And through it all, the twin-tailed girl still managed to keep her friends, to not have the burden of fame hold her down.

So why? Why couldn’t she do it? Why had she failed so horribly? As her life fell down around her, her mind becoming a stranger to even herself, Luka had lost everything important in her life. Even the people she thought were her friends had left her when she became too much of a burden. Would it happen again? Would Miku be pushed away when she found out just how broken and useless she was?

“It’s still so surreal to think it all began with a small band in middle school.” Popping up behind the unaware pinkette, Luka jumping slightly at the twin-tailed idol’s sudden appearance, Miku casually rested her chin upon the older girl's shoulder as she fondly looked over the pictures adorning her wall. A small shiver rushed through Luka’s body as Miku’s slight frame pressed softly into her back, the hair on the back of her neck standing on end as the smaller girl's breath lightly tickled the edge of her ear.

“What are they like? Your friends and bandmates, I mean…” Luka barely managed to squeak out her question, the pinkette letting out a sigh of relief, and a bit of disappointment, as Miku pulled away from her, the pop-idol coming to stand next to her as they both looked over the memories of the tealette’s life.

“I don’t get to see my friends too often, unfortunately. With all the touring and recording I’ve pretty much switched over to exclusively homeschooling. I still try to see and message them as often as possible but it’s hard sometimes to find the time.”

Lowering her head, Luka felt a twinge of sadness grip her heart as she listened to the idol’s words, the note of resigned disappointment in her voice making her want to reach out to her, to comfort her. But, to her immeasurable disappointment, all she could do was nod, the pinkette silently cursing her own cowardice.

“My old classmates, the ones I started with back in middle school, used to be part of my studio and touring band but we kind of…broke up.” Miku sighed heavily as she stared at one of the multitudes of pictures of her and her classmates, an almost wistful smile curling at the corner of her lips.

“We ended up having different ideas of just what kind of band we wanted to be. They wanted to continue making pop-rock oriented music while I always wanted to experiment, to try out different kinds of styles and genres. It just didn’t work out.”

Luka’s heart hung heavy in her chest as she heard the tealette’s tale, the circumstances, while different in key areas, were not so far removed from her own. Loneliness, loss, and abandonment a common thread connecting their lives.

Then why?

“We still support each other of course.” Miku beamed as she turned to face the taller girl, the depressive air that had permeated between them mere moments ago dissipating like a puddle in the burning summer heat.

Why?

“I even lent my vocals to some of their songs. They are really great and I love seeing them do well.” Clasping her hands behind her back, Miku closed her eyes with a bright grin on her face, leaning forward slightly with a playful bounce.

Why was she still so happy?

Luka could on stare at the twin-tailed girl, this radiant ball of pure sunshine, in stunned awe and disbelief. Impressed and intimidated in equal amounts. These were the emotions the pink-haired recluse felt as she gazed upon her. How could she continue to be so upbeat and chipper while dealing with such hardships? How can she stay so relentlessly positive without having the weight of loneliness and expectation drag her down?

How could she help prop her up while carrying her own baggage?

“Oh!” Clapping her hands together, the sound echoing loudly through the cavernous apartment, Miku began excitedly hopping up and down, mirthful giggles pouring out from between her lips. “I should start prepping the food for dinner! Do you want to help?”

She was prepared to decline, the idea of possibly ruining the idol's perfectly planned meal briefly passing through her mind, her hand already raising up to wave her off when Luka suddenly stopped herself. The memory of her family, all squished together in their small kitchen, suddenly pushed itself into the forefront of her mind. They would always laugh and smile as they tried to maneuver themselves in the limited space until Luka finally had enough and would shoo both her parents away with a stern wag of her finger, both of them continuing to hover at the entrance while she prepared their meals.

They were always so happy then.

“I’d like that.” 

Smiling softly, Luka slowly made her way to the kitchen as Miku gave an enthusiastic shout of joy, the twin-tailed girl rushing ahead of her pink-haired friend, briefly skidding on the tile flooring as she excitedly began grabbing the necessary utensils. Unzipping her beloved hoodie, not wishing to ruin it by possibly getting it dirty, the cool air of the apartment immediately chilled her sweat-soaked skin, Luka feeling painfully exposed without it as she hung it up on a nearby coat rack. It had been such a long time since she went without wearing it at some point, the only other times being when she cleaned it and even then she wouldn’t leave the laundry room until it was done.

This was completely unknown territory as she stepped into Miku’s kitchen, her shirt clinging uncomfortably close to her skin, leaving the pink-haired recluse feeling self-conscious of her body as she nervously rubbed her bare arm, the pale skin freezing to the touch. Worryingly patting at her stomach, Luka wondered if it was obvious for others to see just how little she weighed now, her mind starting to pile up with more and more thoughts about everything that was wrong with her body.

“Wh-where are your parents?” Trying to push her thoughts aside, to try and salvage this moment for as long as possible, Luka began fiddling with some of the vegetables Miku had bought earlier, inspecting them for any signs of bruising and damage. Poking her head out from behind an opened cabinet door, Miku lifted her head thoughtfully to the ceiling, briefly considering the pink-haired girl's question.

“They live on a different floor, but they’re currently on a trip to Osaka for their anniversary. They said it's been ages since they went there and this finally gave them an excuse to go.” Pulling out an array of pots and pans, the cookware noisily clanging together as Miku placed them upon her stove, the tealette immediately rushing to the next task, not wasting a single second.

“Do…do you miss them?” Flinching slightly at her own question as soon as it passed her lips, Luka mentally chastised herself for having asked something so stupid. Miku wasn’t like her. Her family wasn’t like hers. Why wouldn’t she miss them?

“Of course.” Miku replied, not a hint of annoyance or anger in her tone at the question as she turned to look at the pinkette, cutting board dangling lazily from her hand. “But they are often gone for work or I am so it can often be a while before we see each other again, so I kind of got used to it. It’s why we have separate apartments. That way we're not in each other's way but can still see each other whenever we want to.”

“Do they support you?” Lowering her head, eyes shielded by a curtain of striking pink, Luka shyly asked her question, her fingers gripping the countertop tightly as she dreaded the coming answer. No matter what Miku’s response would be, it would only serve to hurt the social recluse more.

“They were wary about it all at first, I mean what parent wouldn’t be? But they saw how much I loved it and how much I work I was putting into it they kind of let me do my own thing, quietly supporting me in their own way. They couldn’t have stopped me even if they had tried and that’s how we ended up here, heehee.”

Giggling softly to herself, Miku waiting as she filled the largest pot with water, the pop idol failed to notice the pained expression that crossed the pinkette’s face as her words painfully stabbed at her heart. Biting down roughly on her lip, trying to stifle the errant sob that was stinging painfully in her throat, Luka furiously rubbed her forearm over her eyes to rid herself of the few tears that had managed to slip from beneath her eyelids.

Why couldn’t her parents have been like that?

Placing the pot onto the stove, the soft click of the burner turning on drowning out Luka’s quick sniffle as she reigned in her emotions, Miku skipped over to a nearby USB speaker, the pop idol momentarily fiddling with her phone before filling the room with song. Doing a little shimmy in time with the music, Miku gave her guest a playful wink, which managed to pull a delighted chuckle from the pink-haired girl, before pulling a packet of meat out of the fridge and placing it on the counter.

“I can begin with this if you could chop up the vegetables?” Nodding dutifully in response, Luka grabbed a handful of green onions and a suitable knife, the pinkette quickly rinsing the greens before chopping them into appropriately sized pieces. As the sound of music and chopping filled the air, the rhythm of her knife matching the beat of the song, Luka could feel the nervousness in her chest ease, the pinkette starting to softly sing to herself.

This is what she wanted. This was what she had longed for for so long. This was what happiness felt like.

As the song came to an end, the last notes fading away, a brief silence falling over the kitchen before the next one started, Luka placed her knife down before turning to offer it to Miku, the pink-haired girl freezing in place when she noticed the idol staring at her with wide blue eyes.

She had heard her. She had heard her signing!

“Luka-chan…” Flinching back slightly, body shrinking in on itself, Luka awaited the inevitable derision and disgust that was sure to come. “That was beautiful!”

“Huh?” Eyes flying open wide, Luka blinked owlishly as she tried to process what she had just heard, the twin-tailed idol beaming from ear to ear as she bounced ecstatically in place, her small fists clenched tightly in front of her chest. That couldn’t have been right. There’s no way she heard that right…right?

“Your voice is gorgeous!” Bounding forward, the young idol cleared the room with a single jump, Miku immediately clasping Luka's hands within her own as she began shaking them up and down, excited energy radiating off of her in palpable waves. She did mean it!

“N-n-no...I’m not that good.” Averting her gaze, both to avoid the shorter girl's intense gaze and to hide the growing blush that was surely flushing her cheeks this very moment, Luka bashfully denied the young idols' praise. There’s no way it could be true anyway. There was nothing beautiful or gorgeous about her, let alone her voice. It was too deep, too awkward, not sweet or cute like other girls. Not like Miku’s.

“Hey! Who’s the expert here?” Miku playfully chided the taller girl with a mock pout, cheeks puffed up cutely before immediately falling away as she gave Luka a warm and caring smile. “We should totally sing together sometime.”

Letting go of Luka’s hands, Miku quickly began rushing through the kitchen at what seemed like light speed, the pop idol appearing like a blur to the confused pinkette as she watched her grab the prepared ingredients and began placing them into the pot of boiling water. Lowering the heat to a gentle simmer, Miku turned to her guest with a bright grin before clutching Luka’s wrist and dragging the pink-haired recluse out of the kitchen and toward the centerpiece of her apartment. Her grand piano.

Quickly taking a seat, the pop idol bouncing impatiently in her seat as she placed her fingers upon the perfectly maintained keys, Miku turned to the flustered pinkette with sparkling blue eyes.

“What should we sing? We have some time before the food is done.” Eyes widening in shock, twin sets of blue stared at each other in mute silence, one expectantly, the other fearfully, before Miku decided to take the initiative, sensing her guest was too shy or scared to make a decision at this very moment. As her fingers expertly danced over the keys with practiced ease, a familiar tune, one Luka had listened to many times in her life, filled the apartment with its dulcet tones. 

Karakuri Pierrot. Miku’s own song. One Luka cherished dearly.

Singing the first couple of lines of the song, in a bid to hopefully calm her house guest’s nerves, Miku’s voice pierced Luka’s heart like an arrow, the pinkette standing in slack-jawed silence as she listened to the idol perform her very own song. It was like an intimate concert just for her, as if the words were being sung just for her, so raw, pure, and unfiltered.

It was the most beautiful thing she had ever heard.

Closing her eyes, letting the idol's voice wash over her, all the fear and doubt that had plagued her over the years suddenly felt so very small and insignificant, the noise in her head replaced only by Miku’s singing. Swept along by the music, Luka joined her voice with Miku’s, starting small and nervous, lost within the power of the idol’s performance, steadily growing in confidence before the pair began trading off verses in a makeshift duet. 

The song rose and soared, Luka’s voice rising to match it as she even managed to overpower Miku’s, the tealette letting her finish off the rest of the song on her own, watching with a growing smile on her face as the social recluse let herself shine.

Just as Miku always believed she could.

And so they went for hours, trading songs back and forth, Miku’s fingers beginning to ache, but the idol too enamored with her friend's voice to care. It was sweet and soothing, a resonant power hidden behind its softness. Ready to lift you up to great heights with its soaring highs as well as gently place you down with its comforting lows. It was a joy to behold and Miku was all too eager to connect Luka’s voice to her own.

The pair went on and on, taking brief moments of rest to enjoy their meal and let their voices relax before eagerly returning to sing more songs, continuing until the setting sun bathed the apartment in a soft, orange glow. As the last song came to an end, the final note hanging heavily in the air before Miku lifted her hands from the keys, Luka was pulled from her music-induced haze by the suns dying rays prodding incessantly upon her face. Turning to stare out of the large windows, Luka noticed for the first time just how much time had passed, the pink-haired girl shyly ducking her head as a blush stained her cheeks a dark crimson. 

It had been so long since she let herself go like that. It was kind of embarrassing how easily Miku could bring these feelings out of her. It was as if the twin-tailed girl had some kind of map to every buried recess of her pock-stricken soul, able to unearth emotions and sensations she thought she had lost a long time ago, allowing herself to feel and experience happiness for the first time in years.

To love.

“Luka that was amazing!” Jumping out of her seat, the exuberant pop idol wobbling slightly from sitting too long before leaping into the taller girl's arms, Miku wrapped herself tightly around Luka’s waist, staring up at her with wide, sparkling blue eyes. “We should totally do a song together sometime. One just for us.”

As the two of them remained in their embrace, overwhelmed by the flood of emotions brought forth from getting to sing with Miku, hearing those sweet words pass the twin-tailed girls lips caused Luka’s heart to beat rapidly in her chest, the blush on her cheeks darkening as she stared into those alluring orbs of radiant blue. Feeling Miku’s arms wrapped around her waist, holding her safely yet securely, like she was the most precious thing in the world, Luka slowly leaned down, her breath briefly ghosted over the shorter girl's skin before placing a gentle kiss upon her cheek.

Reeling back suddenly, eyes widened in surprise, Miku softly pressed her palm against her cheek exactly where Luka had just kissed her, staring up at the taller girl with a searching gaze. Staring into her blue orbs, confusion and bewilderment shining within their oceanic depths, realization slowly dawned upon the pink-haired girl, ice-cold dread shooting through her limbs as the enormity of what she had done registered in her mind.

She had kissed her! She kissed Miku! No! Nononono this couldn’t be happening! She fucked up! She fucked up horribly! It was over! Everything was over!!! Fuck!! Why!?! How could she do this?! How could she ruin this?! Run! RUN!!!!

“I’m sorry! I'm sorry!!!” Violently wrenching herself away from the tealette’s embrace, as if touching her would only bring Miku more harm, Luka’s hand flew to her head, crashing roughly against her skull as she roughly pulled at her hair, bits of hair tearing from her scalp as hot tears rolled down her cheeks. She had to get out! She had to run!

Quickly turning on her heel, Miku’s cries fell on deaf ears as Luka wrenched the front door open, the pounding in her skull drowning out everything as she bolted down the hallway, her prized sweater remaining forgotten upon the coat rack in her haste to escape. Sock-covered feet smacked loudly against the floor as she made a mad dash toward the elevator, wails and cries of despair and disgust reverberating in her head as her finger frantically pressed the down button, the door swinging open with a gentle hiss.

Leaping into the unoccupied elevator, Luka quickly pressed the lobby entrance button, praying, hoping that Miku was not following her, the pinkette too scared to look up, afraid to possibly stare into the disgusted face of the person who had been her only friend. One she had violated so horribly with the pestilent infection that was her existence. She had to get away, for Miku’s sake.

Falling backward after the doors swung close and the elevator made its familiar descent, Luka buried her face into her lap and cried and screamed and violently beat her legs, in a vain hope to punish herself for what she had done. The only witness to her pain the cold, unfeeling walls of the metal contraption surrounding her.

“Luka! Wait!” Miku’s desperate cries echoed down the hallway as she swiftly rushed after her distraught friend, her words falling on deaf ears as Luka quickly leapt into the waiting elevator, the idol’s screams reverberate painfully off of the walls, but failing to reach the one person she wanted them to. The last glimpse Miku caught of her friend was a small, shock of pink before the elevator doors closed in front of her, effectively separating them.

“No!” Changing her trajectory, Miku burst through the nearby emergency exit, the rushing winds of the towering building pelting her skin as she bounded down the stairs, taking several steps at a time in a desperate bid to catch up to the pink-haired girl. Worry, fear, and regret rumbled through her brain as she made her way to the ground floor, the young idol wanting nothing more than to fix the horrible mistake she had made. She shouldn’t have pulled back, she should have said something, anything!, to assuage Luka’s fears. She should have stopped her.

She just hoped she had time to make it right.

Leaping down the last set of stairs in a single bound, the muscles in her thighs burning but still ready to keep going, Miku silently thanked her years of idol training for keeping her in shape as she rushed to the main entrance, blue eyes desperately searching for a familiar shock of bright pink. Fear gripped her heart when she failed to find any trace of her, the young idol pulling her phone out of her pocket, frantically pressing Luka’s contact number before lifting it to her ear, her heart rate increasing with every unanswered ring.

Far above, Luka’s phone played its ringtone to the empty walls of Miku’s apartment, buried deep within the pocket of the pink-haired recluses' abandoned hoodie.

“Luka, please.” Tears pricked at Miku’s eyes as she frantically shot her gaze up and down the road, the street lights flickering on one by one as night slowly fell upon the city, hoping beyond hope to find any sign of her missing friend. “Luka, please be ok.” 

Curled up at the edge of a nearby river, her tearful wails lost beneath the roaring waves of the flowing current, a solitary girl with pink hair wept for the life she had lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regret.
> 
> Sorry for the delay between chapters! February ended up being much busier than expected and a severe bout of writer's block did not help matters. But I’m back and hopefully, this chapter was worth the wait for everyone!
> 
> A rough chapter for Luka as everything she had built up when Miku came into her life comes tumbling down around her. One small mistake, all the happiness and joy she experienced was crushed and broken from a simple kiss. Luka is at the lowest point she has ever been since her life first fell apart.
> 
> Hopefully, Miku can help her.
> 
> Next chapter: Together.
> 
> Thank you all for your continued support and kind words. I hope all is well for you and that you are keeping safe. Have a wonderful day and I love you all!


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